


What I couldn't See

by Hinikuna



Category: Tokyo Mew Mew
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aliens, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friendship, Jealousy, Magical Girls, Slow Burn, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 49,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24367153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinikuna/pseuds/Hinikuna
Summary: It's been three years since the war against the Ciniclons ended, and Ichigo couldn't be happier with her life: perfect boyfriend, great friends, decent grades and a safe planet. All that is about to change, though, once the Ciniclons come back, and this time around the challenge might be bigger than she expects. (Translation and re-write from my spanish story "Lo que no pude ver")
Relationships: Momomiya Ichigo/Quiche
Comments: 11
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

''You missed a spot.''

Hearing that comment was a like a punch right to my stomach, and I actually had to squeeze the mop in my hands and breathe deep a few times, in order not to turn around and beat the snobby little rich girl over the head in frustration. I'm not sure how Mint did it, but she always seemed to get on my nerves easily enough, especially during our mutual shifts in Café Mew. She would always sit around and do nothing, calmly drinking her tea and criticizing the way I mopped the floor or cleaned the windows. Like someone could screw up a job that easy.

I kind of felt like giving her a piece of my mind, but I knew an argument with Mint could escalate quickly on my part, and I didn´t want to come across as a complete freak, so instead of yelling I just forced myself to smile and very calmly said:

''Well…you could consider helping me out, then.''

 _For a change_ , I added silently in my head.

Mint glanced at me over her magazine, and she almost seemed to be considering my proposal to start doing something vaguely useful with her life. It would certainly be quite the show watching the spoiled brat get her butt out of the chair she had been sitting for over an hour, and actually get some work done.

But of course, it was Mint I was talking to.

''Nah,'' she said, and elegantly lifted her cup again to her lips. I suspected she made an act of drinking it very slowly in order to avoid doing any work. ''I'm busy now.''

''Busy?!'' I yelled, and in a childish fit (yes, I can admit it only to myself) I threw the mop on the floor. ''You are not doing anything!''

Mint rolled her eyes at me, and granted me her famous superiority look, the one she saved for those special moments when she didn't have any arguments to keep up the fight, but still wanted to prove a point. That stupid and annoying look that makes me shut up and give in, because by now I know just how useless it is to try to talk sense into her. In the end she would still be sitting right there wasting my time while I yelled, and somebody would tell me to just get back to work. It was easier to go straight to the work part already.

 _Breathe,_ I told myself; _don't let the little princess's comments get in your head._

So I did. I breathed deeply in, turned around and went back to work with my mop, all the way to the other corner of the coffee shop, while probably smoke rose out of my ears. To be honest, though, this development wasn´t anything new and shouldn´t have surprised me. After all, I had known Mint for over four years, ever since we were hired to work at Café Mew at only thirteen years old, while secretly fighting a war against an alien race who had intended to take over the Earth. We hadn´t really clicked at first (because of her snobby personality mostly) but after living through so many near death experiences together it ended up being kind of hard to avoid getting closer to each other. Eventually we became good friends, and I had even learned to love her, flaws and all. Apparently, though, 17 year old me was as naïve as always, because somehow after all these years, my stupid brain still failed to comprehend the fact that Mint would always be a lazy and condescending brat. At least when it came to our day job, which she cleverly avoided doing on a daily basis.

 _Rich kids get away with anything,_ I thought as I looked over my shoulder and saw her the same way she always spent her afternoons: sitting in a chair sipping tea like some sort of queen, or a glorified housewife.

It was a relief our duties as Mew warriors had ended about three years ago, otherwise the built up stress would have had me throwing her out of the chair without caring if she landed on her butt or her face. I had learned very quickly that being a teenager with enough time to do homework and have some semblance of a social life can really make someone feel a lot calmer under stressful situations.

We are all much calmer now too, I thought, my mind drifting to my friends.

Even though Mint claimed she had better things to do than ''working her ass off'' in a coffee shop, she still showed up every afternoon in time for her shift and put on the apron like any one of us. We kind of suspected her violin lessons or ballet recitals (or whatever it was rich kids studied on their free time) were activities not nearly as entertaining as hanging out with her friends. Not that she would admit we were friends, though...but we were.

Pudding had turned 15 recently and was still the same energetic and fun little ray of sunshine she had always been, but now instead of using up all her time during the day to take care of her little brothers or fighting for the human race, she was able to take up different activities while she wasn´t working in the Café or studying: like dancing, cooking, arrow shooting or even painting. Most of the activities lasted about a month or so before she found a new ambition to pursue, but she never failed to make a small souvenir for all of us to show just how much she had learned in the meantime. For my last birthday Pudding had given me a mug with a slightly blurry and out of frame picture of our group she had taken during her photography course, and I used it everyday.

Then there was Lettuce, already 18 years old and still one of the clumsiest people I had ever met (other than me, at least), but lately her shy personality seemed to be melting away, as she was making an effort to break out of her shell. She was speaking up more, proposing plans to us, and even laughing at her own disasters instead of blushing madly and hiding away in shame. I could tell she felt more comfortable around all of us, and it was a nice change to see in my friend. I personally had the theory she had met someone she liked, probably in that volunteer group she had joined during the summer, but I wasn´t sure, and even though the curiosity was killing me, I wasn´t going to ask until she was ready to tell (if there was even something to tell).

And lastly, Zakuro: the eldest member of our gang (not counting our bosses Ryuu and Akasaka) who was still the same famous and beautiful girl loved by fans all over Japan. She was already 19 years old, currently on her second year of college and somehow still hanging out with us, for some reason. I had kind of thought she would go back to her life of fame and notoriety once the Earth was saved, but it seemed like she genuinely enjoined our company, and we enjoined the free tickets to shows and movie premiers she was able to get for us from time to time...and yeah, we loved her too.

Truth is: never in the four years we had been working together had I wished for other friends.

My group wasn´t perfect, far from it actually (especially having me as a leader back when the Mews were active), we sometimes fought and yelled and made mistakes like any other (semi) human beings, but we had always had each other´s backs when it mattered, we had always stood together in the face of danger, and that was something special I never wanted to lose. Even now, three years after the aliens had left our planet alone, and our Mews personas had become nothing more than a memory in the back of our minds, our bond was still as tight as ever. I couldn´t even remember one of us ever making the conscious decision of continuing to work at Café Mew, we all just kind of...kept going. The Café was special to us, it was the place where our lives had changed forever, the center of our friendship, and none of us wanted that bond to the physical place or to us to break. We wanted our friendship to last forever.

Ask Mint, though, and she would deny it until the end of time, but her presence everyday said otherwhise.

 _I like this,_ I decided, while I cleaned the floor even though there was no filth anymore. This level of calm and happiness was coming from the fact that we didn´t have an Earth to save anymore, so we could just be friends, have fun and deal with our routines like any other person. Saving the world had been adventurous, significant, and surprisingly fun from time to time, but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy being a normal teenage girl. Fighting off aliens and receiving war wounds was not my ideal plan for a fun afternoon anymore, and having more time for myself, my friends or my boyfriend was a breath of fresh air every day. I knew I couldn't work in Café Mew forever, but I didn't want to worry about the future. I wanted to enjoy the present I had.

''Ichigo, you have a visitor,'' Pudding singsoned from the entrance.

I smiled to myself because I knew who it was without having the need to ask. I dropped the mop to the floor and ran to the door where my perfect, most amazing boyfriend in the whole world was waiting for me. Masaya was smiling, like he always seemed to be doing around me, holding his backpack in one arm and leaving the other one free to hug me when were close enough to touch. I hugged him, not resisting the urge to smell his natural scent mixed with that perfume I liked, the one I had gotten him for his birthday last year and he frequently sprayed on just for me. I looked up to find his warm brown eyes watching me, and I smiled for no reason. He had that effect on me.

I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him and his lips, as always, were soft against mine. My heart drummed inside my chest in happiness as he responded to my kiss and I felt like I was in my own little island, and nobody else existed in the rest of the world but him and I.

_If only that was true..._

''Ajj, get a room,'' Mint muttered on her way to wherever she was going.

I was in such a good mood I didn´t even care about Mint´s comments for once. I liked Masaya so much the kisses could last forever if it were up to me, and the whole world could just suck it up and watch my happiness or look away. Still, I wasn´t up to putting on any kind of show, so after a minute or so I stepped back, and fixed my uniform a little bit.

''You are early,'' I said while looking at my watch. ''I wasn't expecting you until six.''

Another advantage to not being a Mew Warrior anymore? I got to actually go on dates with Masaya as often as I wanted (or as my grades allowed it at least), instead of having to cancel or reschedule all the time because humanity was at stake. It gets annoying very quickly.

While dating had been a challenge back in the beginning of our relationship when he hadn´t even known what I was, now was actually fun, easy and not stressful in the least, because how could it be? He was perfect and I had all the time in the world for us! Even with our last year-exams coming up and having to take major decisions such as which college we would attend next year (together, obviously) we still always managed to make time for each other, and that was something I was thankful for everyday.

''My Kendo class was cut short and I came straight here" he explained, "are you free now, or should I wait?''

 _And be here a minute longer?_ I could just picture Ryou making up jobs just to piss me off. No thanks.

Ever since the aliens had left in peace with the Mew Aqua, the Mew team had continued working together but as waitresses in Café Mew only, because there were no threats against our planet or our race anymore and no need to stay on guard all the time. Ryou still made us wear our pendants around our necks just in case, but after three silent and peaceful years without battles, training sessions or strategic meetings, I had started to think of my necklace as a corky decoration rather than a magical weapon.

Ryou, being the paranoid freak we all knew and love, had tried to set up a weekly meeting among the Mews, but we quickly dismissed it or rather stopped showing up entirely, because none of us saw the point of wasting our time talking about threats that were no longer here. He was still a little angry at us, but since there was no actual way to force os to cooperate, he had given up quite easily.

''No, I'm done,'' I answered while I took off my apron over my head and let it rest over a chair next to us. ''We can go.''

I started walking towards the door, with a big smile on my face that must have seemed so stupid, but I couldn't help it. Masaya and I had been together for almost three years and we were a solid couple now, but there had been a time in which I wasn't sure he could like me, that he would ever like me at all, because my life had been so completely chaotic back then, and I had kept so many secrets from him. It was hard to believe my days weren't so chaotic anymore, that I didn't have any weird Mew related secrets, and I could be as close as I wanted with my boyfriend without the need to go running out the door if an emergency took place. Right now, my life was exactly the way I wanted it to be, and I was enjoying every minute of it.

Suddenly, I felt a tug at my shirt, and I was pulled back until I was able to see Ryou's indifferent expression.

''Is there something wrong?'' I asked, with the most annoyed glare I could muster. It must not have been very good because he didn't seem that intimidated to me.

''I just wanted to remind you to maybe tell your bosses when you want to take the day off work to go play with your boyfriend.''

I felt myself overcome with rage and I raised my hands in the air as if I wanted to strangle him. Masaya, the most considerate being in the whole world, stopped me from committing murder, and I muttered a ''thank you'' under my breath. Again, I breathed deeply to calm down, although that didn´t seem to be working much today.

''Look, I know you are saying this because for some reason it has become your personal sport to piss me off, but if you think I'm staying here for one more minute after I've spent all day cleaning floors, your are dead wrong. Plus, there's nobody here and the place is spotless.''

For a minute, I felt rather mature and a little cocky because I was sure I had the better argument here. After all, our other, much nicer and sweeter boss, Akasaka, usually let us leave early if there were no costumers. Nonetheless, Ryou didn't feel like seeing my point of view.

''And what about your other job? The one that needs you to be ready 24/7 to save the world?'' he asked stubornly, hands on his hips and an eyebrow raised.

''Oh please, we haven't had a crisis in three years. Get over it, already.''

Being honest here, I never really expected any of my comments to leave Ryou quiet, he was usually so arrogant he always had an answer for every little thing, kind of like Mint but in a blond male version. This time, however, he got really, really quiet, and his glare could have melted ice.

''You never know, Ichigo,'' he answered with a straight face, "we need to be prepared for anything."

I opened my mouth to tell him off again, when suddenly, I heard a sound. A sound I remembered from a chaotic part of my life. A sound I desperately did not want to be hearing, but it was just my luck I hadn't gone crazy and everyone else was hearing it too. Masha, our little pink fur ball with wings who had stayed quiet for three years, had apparently decided to wake up from its slumber and pronounce that dreadful and familiar word:

''ALIEN! ALIEN! ALIEN!''

Nobody moved while we heard Masha squeal with the energy of a toddler hooked on candy, and we all just stared at each other, wondering to ourselves if this was really happening. Part of me kept expecting to wake up in my bed, tangled in my sheets and grateful, just so grateful that it would all be just a dream. Or a malfunction in Masha's system. I was fine believing it could be just a glitch, like an alarm clock that was set at the wrong time. I kept expecting anything really, any possibility that meant I didn't have to go back to my old life and sleep little hours, and not see Masaya, and fail in school. Anything but that.

But I must not have been praying to the right god.

''Mews,'' I heard Ryou's voice over Masha's shrieking, and I almost jumped at that word. He hadn't called us "Mews" in a long, long time. ''You know what to do!''

And then everything and everyone started moving at the same time, and I suddenly realized the universe didn't give a damn if I wanted to go back to my old life or not. If what I wanted mattered in the least, my DNA would never have been crossed with that of a cat. If it were up to me, I would just be your average 17 year old girl, whose worse life or death situation would be to pick which outfit looks the cutest on me, or how to get by on my allowance until the end of the month.

Not this. Not an actual life or death situation and the whole weight of the world over my shoulders. But my life was never going to be just…simple, right? It might as well be time for me to come to terms with it. The three-year recess had been nice, but now the clock had started ticking again, and it was time to get back to work.

I turned towards Masaya again, willing into my eyes all the sadness I felt from having to cancel our plans, and knowing it wasn't going to be the last time I gave him that look. He knew that too.

''It's alright, I know,'' He said, brushing my cheeks softly with his fingers. ''Go save the world, I'll be waiting.''

I knew he would be waiting, probably by the phone to get my call as soon as the situation was dealt with, and with the news on TV just in case the attack was big enough to be shown on national television. He would wait and worry all day, wondering about my fate just as he had done in the past during my missions, and I hated to do that to him again, especially knowing how badly he wanted to be helpful too.

Masaya was the kind of person who didn´t run from danger, he ran towards it because he wanted to protect, to fight and save others. He was good like that: honest, brave and determined...but not strong or powerful. At least, not anymore. There had been a time in which Masaya could turn himself into a real hero: a knight with blue eyes and golden hair, capable of wielding a sword and dropping hits like nobody else I knew. The Blue Knight, one of the most powerful beings I had ever met.

 _But he isn't here anymore,_ I reminded myself. He had disappeared after the last battle against the aliens, and despite his efforts to try and bring him back, it seemed that part of Masaya had died that day, leaving him all alone inside his body to live the rest of his days as just another regular human being.

I had never been angry or sad about losing the Blue Knight, and I didn´t mind his humanity at all, but right now, with a new threat over our heads, I knew it pained him to have the need to protect others and simply not have the strength. It pained me too to see him like this, but it wouldn't do any good to remind him of this power loss, so I just smiled in what I hoped it was a kind way, and kissed his cheek.

''I will be back as soon as I can,'' I stated, and ran out the door after my friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, I´m really happy you decided to give my fic a try, hope you like it! I just have a couple of things to explain.
> 
> 1\. This is my attempt to re-write a story I wrote a few years ago in spanish. My aim is to practice writing in english, which is something I love to do but Im not always confident in my abilities, so if I have grammar mistakes or anything you believe I should correct, please let me know in the comments or PMs, it helps me to improve and grow!
> 
> 2\. The last time I watched Tokyo Mew Mew was a very long time ago. Since then I tried to research a bit as to not accidentally add wrong information in the fic, but there are some things I couldn´t find so I made them up a little: like the amount of time the Mews fight against the ciniclons during the anime. I couldn´t find that, so I just assumed it was something like a year, which is what I decided to use in this story. Also, about the Blue Knight, I don´t remember what happened in the anime, but in my story he disappeared during the last fight along with Deep Blue.
> 
> 3\. So apparently the Tokyo Mew Mew I watched as a kid is not the same one that aired in Japan or even in the US, and the ages of the characters in the three versions are different for some reason. To avoid confusion about the ages of the girls, I decided to add a small note explaining it here:
> 
> \- Ichigo and Mint are 13 years old when they first join the Mews, and the events of this fic happens four years later, so now both are 17 years old.
> 
> \- Pudding was 11 and now she is 15.
> 
> \- Lettuce was 14 and now she is 18.
> 
> \- Zakuro was 15 and now she is 19.
> 
> Sorry for the long post unrelated to the story, last time this happens, I promise! Hope you like the story, and if you can leave a comment Ill appreciate it so much! See ya!


	2. Chapter 2

It turns out after three years of slacking off and eating leftover pastries at work; trying to follow a pink fur ball for fifteen blocks at top speed is not an easy task to take. Believe me, I know.

It didn't take long for my ribbons to go flying out of my head, and long strands of red hair to get in my already sweaty face, for me to realize that I had started this adventure once again with my left foot. I was sweating like a pig, my feet hurt and I was pissed off for having to cancel my date with Masaya, so I was not the least bit excited about any of this, and we hadn´t even started fighting yet!

However, it seemed like I was the only one struggling to get back in the game. Everybody else was running way ahead of me, leaving me behind as if I was merely the new girl instead of the leader of the group.

 _Where they training in secret?!_ I asked myself, as I watched Zakuro and Lettuce run so fast I couldn´t even see them anymore, and their outfits' didn´t appear to be as sweaty or as wrinkled as mine.

I was tempted to transform right then and there, because if I remembered correctly, my transformation always gave me a boost of energy I could use right about now, but I had half a brain to realize it wasn't the right choice to make, since it was still daytime, and there were way too many people on the street staring at us as we ran around the city like the devil was chasing us. If we added colorful dresses, tails, claws and a pair of wings to the mix, we would be getting much more unwanted attention than necessary. Possibly even create fear around civilians because the Mews hadn't made a public appearance in a long time, and we intended to keep it that way for now. It was best to stay hidden until we knew what we were dealing with.

But if I couldn't use my special endurance and speed, I could have used a bike.

Or a car, I added. I tried not to listen to the little voice inside my head telling me to take a taxi, but it was getting hard.

''Is grandma struggling to move?'' Mint teased me when she slowed down enough to reach my position. ''Keep up, will you?''

''Who the hell are you calling a grandma?! I'm only seventeen!''

I tried to grab her and show her I was much stronger than a frail old lady, but she evaded my attack and grabbed my arm instead, urging me to go forward in spite of my attempts to shake her off. My free arm was seized by an overly joyful Pudding, who supported Mint on her plan to rush me forward, and almost made me trample to the ground. Between them, I eventually managed to reach the destination point Masha had led us to, and I tried really hard not to feel like a crappy superhero in need of crutches. Maybe Mint was right, and I was a grandma in a teenager's body, because I felt way too old for this business.

''We are…here…already…what's the…problem?'' I asked between every breath I could get inside my lungs.

My question had been directed at Masha, but the little pink alarm didn't answer my question, and merely kept yelling ''Alien! Alien!'' while spinning around itself in apparent confusion. The noise was so annoying I had to actually fight the urge inside me not to throw our little buddy against a rock to shut it up.

I was clearly not on my best mood.

"Does anybody see an alien around here?" asked Mint.

''I don't see anything,'' Pudding said while she grabbed Masha and tried to soothe him, or maybe find an off switch ''is he broken?''

''I don't think so,'' Lettuce answered, and pushed up her glasses so she could check Masha too, ''Masha is usually not wrong.''

"It´s been a while, maybe he is need of a check up?" Zakuro asked, while also peering in.

I finally managed to stop hyperventilating, and I tried combing my hair with my fingers to get rid of the knots (but it wasn´t really working, my hair was too much of a mess) while I looked around.

In truth, if I had to pick a place in which to fight to the death, I would probably have picked this one, because it was deserted enough not to hurt a passerby accidentally in the process, but still close enough to our base. We were in what appeared to be a meadow, hidden all around between thick trees, and with no clear path on the ground. I wasn't even sure how we had gotten here, but maybe that was because I hadn't really been paying attention during our run.

_Well, anyway, at least we don't have to worry about civilians._

The thing is, aliens didn't seem to be there, and that was a relief as much as a concern, because Lettuce was right, Masha was never wrong. If he had sensed alien presence on Earth, it meant a possible invasion scenario was about to come down on our heads, and unfortunately, we knew of a few beings that could probably be behind that plan. What I couldn't figure out is why? Why come back after three years, and with what purpose? They already had the Mew Aqua, what else could they want?

''Well, I don't know about you, but aliens or not, I'm not taking chances and let them find me unprepared,'' Mint said while taking out her pendant.

''No way,'' Pudding agreed ''we've already shown our strength once, I'm ready to do it again!''

Suddenly, everyone stared at me almost in unison, holding between their palms a small artifact that would call on an immense power source strong enough to allow us to protect the Earth from anyone who dared to harm it. It took a few moments for me to realize they were waiting for me to answer like a leader would, like I had done so many times before.

I took my pendant too, and searched my brain for the words I had said a thousand times:

''Mew Mew Metamorfosis!''

As soon as I said it, I felt…foolish, like the thirteen year old me who had just gotten her powers, and was still not too sure about how to use them correctly, or at all. I saw myself in my memories, all excited and nervous, insecure about my abilities, but still determined to do what I thought was right. I felt so different now, much more tired, and wanting to get over with this already because I had a date to go to. Not that I didn´t care about the fate of the Earth, I had just thought that I was done with the job of saving it. Apparently not.

It made me wonder if somewhere inside me I could still find that innocent, young girl full of hope, or if she had disappeared in the midst of an ordinary life while I was growing up. I didn't have much time to think it over, though.

The light and warmth I could feel coming from my pendant expanded itself until it surrounded all of me. I felt my clothes disappear temporarily from my body, and a lighter, much softer fabric cover me entirely. A long tail and pair of furry ears appeared from inside me, and for the first time since my very first transformation, my cat figure seemed strange to me, unreal. My hair lightened, and my senses sharpened instantly.

When it was over, and the light receded inside the pendant, I felt a little bit closer to the superhero I used to be, with heightened abilities and a magical weapon at my disposal. I felt the boost in my energy supply, and suddenly I could have run a marathon, or more like 10, which I wouldn´t do because I hate running, but the point is, I could.

I stared down at my body… and then raised my hands to cover my boobs. It seemed to me they were right about to pop out of my dress if I didn't stop them.

_God, this feels weird!_

As surprising as it sounds, returning to my uniform three years after I had let it gather dust in whatever plane of existence it lived in when it wasn't on me, wasn't turning out as breezy as I had planned. The pendant around my neck was supposed to make the transformation for me, which technically it had, but I couldn't shake the feeling that my top was too tight, or that the skirt was short enough to flash anyone watching me without me even trying, and my tail seemed to have a life of its own, curling around one of my legs.

I had always thought that, if it ever happened, getting my job back would be like riding an old bike. Maybe I hadn't ridden it in a while, but if I could remember where the pedals and brakes were, I would be fine, or so I thought. This felt much like pedaling down a mountain without brakes, or any other way to stop it. No soft or natural transition, more like an explosion of adrenaline and discomfort I couldn´t shake off no matter how hard I tried.

 _Was it always like this?_ I asked myself, as I inadvertently fixed my top again.

''Can you stop that already?'' Mint asked me while throwing her short hair back. ''Do you have something stuck in there or what?''

I looked at my hands and put them down because I realized I had been too obvious.

''I can't help it,'' I answered while I pinched my cat ears, trying to remember if they had sensitivity or they were merely decorative. ''I think the suit is small for me''

''Are you aware of how ridiculous that sounds? The suit is…magical, or whatever. I don't know, but it's supposed to adapt to your body type.''

Well yeah, easy for her to say that when her dress actually looked good on her, and so it did on the rest of the girls. They all seemed to be comfortable on their skins, and not about to jump out of them, like I was. Even Zakuro, all grown up like a mature woman, seemed like not even a day out of the uniform had passed for her. Had she cheated and had it fixed before today?

''Not fair,'' I said to no one in particular. ''Why is only my suit in kid size? Like I didn't go through puberty or something...''

''Trust me, Kitten, you definitely went through puberty.''

I froze for a moment, because I hadn´t expected to hear that voice, not ever again. Suddenly, after a second or so, we all reacted instantly and turned around towards the line of trees on our backs. Immediately I felt dizzy, like I would collapse under a great weight, even though I had energy to spare, and I knew the reason why.

It was strange to be so surprised, because I had seen it coming, I wasn't that stupid. As soon as the word ''alien'' had been shrieked by Masha over and over again, I had thought about the possibility of this particular trio coming back to Earth, but somehow, I hadn't really been expecting…him.

I was vaguely aware that Tart was a few inches taller, resembling a little more like an awkward teenager now than the kid I had met four years ago, and Pai was so big now and as serious as ever, he seemed to be the father of the other two aliens. However, the one who got all my attention, the one who I couldn't take my eyes off was...

 _Kish_ , my mind evoked the name for me, and it seemed to make his presence more real somehow, even though I still couldn't understand who I was seeing. He was just so…different. Maybe my young mind had pictured him as big and strong before, but seeing him now, three years later, he was all grown up in a way I hadn't pictured: big and intimidating, a presence to be respected. No skinny arms or shirts barely covering his belly button. No pigtails framing his young face. That kid I had known, at some point had become a man.

In front of me, there was a warrior's body, tall and muscled but still lean. He was wearing something similar to what he wore back then, strange clothes in shades of green, grey and black, only now the shirt wasn't flopping in the wind, but hugging his body perfectly. And his green hair, which I had always found rather bizarre, was now longer and he wore it tied up at his nape in a way it made him look less childish and more like a soldier.

Even though he had changed considerably, he still had that same pair of golden eyes, so intense, overwhelming, and with an edge of danger that left me in fear many times as a child. Those same eyes that had clearly said ''I love you'' one time, and ''I'm going to kill you'' the next, sometimes in the same sentence. I could recognize those eyes anywhere. I had seen them too many times in my nightmares.

When I saw him dip down his stare towards me in interest, it was hardly a surprise, considering how much he had stalked and obsessed about me in that year we had been enemies. However, I hadn't been expecting to see such an adult stare on him. He started from the bottom of me and moved his way up my body, slowly, menacingly, and lingering in places I didn't want to think about. He looked at me in a way he hadn't done so when we were kids, because he hadn't known how.

He knew now.

As his eyes reached my face, I felt myself go red all over, and I almost stumbled back over my feet. He grinned then, and winked at me.

I tore my gaze off him and tried to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

 _Stupid,_ I told myself, _I know I'm half naked, but he is not the first person to look at me like that…_

I was about to yell something his way, when suddenly Zakuro stepped in front of me and blocked me from the alien's view. Her gesture was clear: pull yourself together. I couldn't agree more.

I breathed in deeply and concentrated on the scene in front of me.

''So much time has passed,'' Zakuro said while flicking her hair behind her shoulder, and I realized that was a strategic move to shift the attention from me to her. ''What brings you all here?''

''What? We can't come to visit? I thought we were friends,'' Tart answered happily, while folding his legs in the air.

"Of course we…" Pudding started to answer in what I could tell was a very spontaneous and happy reply.

Mint gave the young girl a look that made her remember the situation we were in, and she shut up before she could finish that sentence. The damage was done, though, because Tart smiled and waved happily at Pudding.

He seemed to be about 15 years old, like Pudding was now, barely a teenager maturing into a new body, and probably hating the process, but I didn´t have a degree in alien anatomy so I couldn´t be sure. Kish, on the other hand, was clearly older. He seemed to be a few years older than me even, judging by his height and muscles, and his body had definitely matured already...

"If you could stop checking out the alien that would be nice" Mint whispered to me.

"I...I am not...!" I yelled in a low voice, "I was not checking him out."

I must not have been as quiet as I had hoped, or maybe Kish´s hearing was better than I remembered, because I heard his laugh from the other side of the meadow, and I earned another wink.

"If you are, that´s okay, kitten" he said, while opening his arms wide, "check me out to your hearts content."

My cheeks got red again, and I cursed Mint under my breath. Thankfully, I didn´t have to answer anything to him, because the important conversation kept going, and I found myself focusing on it instead of the stupid alien.

Mint cleared her throat to get the alien´s attention and walked a few steps forward to state in a clear and calm voice:

''Well, excuse us for not trusting the same beings who wanted to destroy humanity and take over the Earth, repeatedly.''

Tart laughed out loud, like almost destroying an entire race was somehow the best joke he had heard in a while. Neither of us laughed.

"Yeah, good times," said Tart once he got serious again. "But that´s not why we are here today."

"And why are you here?" Zakuro asked, with that voice she used when she was losing her patience.

''We´ve come to warn you,'' Pai's voice drew our attention to him. ''An attack is underway, and if you are not careful, this time you won't succeed.''

As soon as he said that, I put myself in attack mode, aware that my friends were striking similar poses all around me. We didn't have good memories of the aliens, and their warning put us on edge. Slowly and trying not to draw attention I took my heart-shaped bell out of my outfit. Kish saw the movement, and a second later, I had him right in front of me, his face unshaken and dangerously close to mine. His hand was holding my wrist tightly, keeping me from moving anywhere, and I froze, too surprised at the speed in which he had moved to actually respond.

''Be careful, kitten, don't do anything you could regret.'' He whispered, and it made me wonder when he had acquired that silk in his voice.

 _Doesn´t matter! He is an arrogant bastard,_ I insulted him in my mind, and drove my leg back, drawing enough strength to kick him all the way back to his planet. But he just smiled and moved out of the way elegantly, like he wasn't even trying.

He had always been fast in a fight, graceful even, like his body knew what to do without having to even think about his next move. I had always found Kish a formidable warrior, and I had been glad when he had left back to his planet, because it meant I didn´t have to fight him anymore. Part of me always feared in the future he would get better and better until the day came where I wasn´t a match for him anymore, and then the Earth would be done. I really hoped that day I feared hadn´t arrived, but between my rusty skills and his obvious continued training; I was getting a little nervous.

Nervousness made me a bit reckless, especially with my words.

''I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you can't come to our home and threaten us. We won't let you,'' I informed all three of them, and I made a move for my bell again, this time, grabbing it fast. ''Leave right now if you don't want to be humiliated again!''

Tart's eyes got big in surprise, and he moved his hands frenetically in the air.

''No, no!'' He yelled. ''You don't understand, this is not a threat, it's a warning!''

Suddenly, as if his words had power, or just simply it was a perfect coincidence, a group of figures hidden by dark cloaks came rushing out of the forest straight for us, as if they had been waiting for a chance to come at us in a surprise attack. Whatever they were, their faces and whole bodies were covered and somehow they were moving fast, crazy fast, almost flying through the air kind of fast and sticking out of their dark cloaks I could see weapons of many kinds, especially one that resembled a whip with crackling electricty. One of them made the end of their whip hit the ground and it sounded so loud I actually flinched.

_Definitely not friendly, then._

''To hell with their warning,'' I said under my breath as I dropped to ground to avoid an attack by one those…things. ''Mew! Attack!''

We all started running in different directions, trying to avoid being hit by one of those dark cloaked figures with their faces covered. I found Kish in the midst of the chaos, and thought it was as good a time as any to deliver that kick I owed him. I jumped out to his position and really gave it my all, but he avoided it again, this time frowning instead of smiling.

''Are you insane?'' He asked me in disbelief. ''I'm not the target here.''

''The hell you are not!''

I jumped onto a branch to get enough momentum so I could throw another attack at him, but he avoided that one as well. Punch, kick, claw, I didn't care anymore as long as something hurt him. He pulled away at every single one of my attacks, drawing further and further away from the meadow and into the forest. I followed him, because I was feeling angrier and angrier by the minute and I really needed one of my blows to hit home.

I realized I was angry.

I was angry about his sudden presence in my home when he had promised never to come back. I was angry about his interruption causing my date with Masaya to be cancelled. I was angry about everything he had ever done or said to me in the past. Everything, every reason I could ever have for hating Kish was now resonating inside my head like a boom box, and I had to do something about it or I would explode.

_Why?! Why come back after all this time?! Why can't he just leave me alone?!_

''Those things aren't ours, Ichigo…''

''Yeah, right, and whose are they then?'' I yelled, finally landing a scratch on his arm. ''I bet it's one of your failed chimera experiment. What did you hope to accomplish by setting them lose?''

I was so angry, much more than I had ever thought possible. Kish was and had always been the source of all my problems, the very reason I wasn´t human anymore, and if getting rid of him meant I could wipe out of existence those strange dark things with no body, I would. In a heartbeat.

He seemed surprised to hear my words for a moment, and I used his distraction to my advantage to throw another attack his way. But then his eyes got really big, and he jumped out to my position, lifting his hands as if to grab me in midair.

 _That's right, come closer,_ I thought almost in delight; _let me hurt you as soon as I catch you._

His hands reached out to grab me by my upper arms, and with a twist he flipped our positions, as I scratched and kicked every single part of his body I could find. I considered myself pretty satisfied with the damage, but then I noticed his hold on me was losing strength, and he was shaking all over as if in pain. Then the strangest thing happened: his body started to...disappear. My brain couldn´t really understand what was happening, but Kish was disappearing and reappearing before my eyes, like he was in the middle of a teleportation but not managing to complete the process somehow. I had never seen him struggling like that.

_What the hell?_

I saw a bright light behind his shoulder, and when I craned my neck, one of those strange dark cloaks was standing right behind him. Although it didn't have a face, it seemed to be looking right at me as it held some sort of electrified whip somewhere inside the cloack, with the end of it hitting Kish's back repeatedly. Vaguely I realized, that was where my back had been a mere second earlier.

I tried to move to do something useful, fight, escape, get help, I wasn't sure. But I felt so very tired and dizzy, like I was about to fall asleep, and I noticed how my vision was fading, appearing and reappearing in fast intervals. I lost both my breath and consciousness as the world faded to black.


	3. Chapter 3

_Ichigo…_

A voice was saying my name with an edge of despair so tangible; I could almost feel it slicing through me like a knife. Again and again, it called me, it almost pleaded to find me among the confusion inside my mind, but I was too far gone to even remember how to answer correctly or to understand why making a connection to another person could be important. I was too far gone to care.

Everything was dark and quiet around me, but every once in a while a flash of bright colors and loud noises would rattle me, and leave me too overwhelmed to even breathe right.

_Ichigo…_

I tried to move towards the voice, since it seemed to be the only constant I could sense around me, the only sense of normalcy I could understand, but as much as I searched through the darkness, I couldn't seem to find it anywhere. I could hear it so far away already, like a lost memory I couldn't seem to access inside my own mind. I was lost in a sea of ever-changing nightmares, somehow unable to stay too long in the same place or to go back to where I came from, and the voice couldn´t find me.

I could feel myself fading away little by little, but the worst part was that I was alone. Alone and confused and scared, not knowing how I had gotten…wherever the hell I was, and no idea how to go back. Fear gripped me by the throat, and I wanted to scream but I couldn't remember how.

_Ichigo…_

Suddenly, something hit me hard enough to make me focus for a moment and all light and sound went away. I found myself surrounded in darkness once again, only this time, I couldn't seem to get any air into my lungs.

 _Water,_ I said to myself, trying to make sense of the situation, _I'm drowning..._

I tried to move, to breathe, to escape my prison with no walls, but I wasn't even sure where was up and where was down anymore, and my body wasn't responding to commands from my mind. When my fear reached levels I didn't know I could reach, suddenly I felt like I was being moved, and there was air once again. Someone or something was moving my body out of the water, making sure my head stayed outside of the surface long enough for me to gather my breath, but I was just so unbelievably tired I couldn't manage to help.

I couldn't do anything. The idea to let myself go with the waves was tempting, and no scarier than to drift off to sleep when I was tired enough at night.

 _Maybe that's what this is_ , I thought vaguely, _just a dream_. Maybe this was the way my body was saying it needed rest, it needed sleep. Yes, of course, just a dream! Just a few minutes, and I would wake up again to deal with my life.

Just a minute…

My body sagged in the arms of whoever was holding me, and I let myself drift away along with the waves.

* * *

Next thing I remember is pain on my chest, as if I was a punching bag being crashed under a huge pressure again and again. Unconsciously, I tried to get away and go back to my peaceful, pain-free dream, but those relentless attacks wouldn't let me.

''Ichigo!''

Again that voice…but this time it seemed closer, clearer and much stronger than before, like whoever owned it was right there with me, yelling right to my face to help me wake up.

''Ichigo, come back to me this instant!''

The voice was angry and sad at the same time, as if it were about to break under a great weight, and I had the sudden thought that its pain was probably bigger than mine. I tried to calm it down, reassure it that I was okay, that I was just tired and wanted to sleep, but I couldn´t open my mouth, I couldn´t even find my mouth…and then I stopped caring altogether. I felt like I was slipping away to dreamland once again, and that place was much more tempting to be than this one so full of pain and uncertainty, so I just drifted off as easily as breathing, and felt a new dream come clawing at me, trying to take me under.

_So tired…_

Suddenly, the pressure on my chest increased to the point of being unbearable, my nose and lips were covered and my mouth filled with air I didn´t know I needed. Breaths of air travelled all the way from my mouth to my lungs, and it seemed to turn on a switch inside of me, because before I realized what was happening, I felt my body being turned on its side and I started retching on what I hoped was the ground.

Pain.

All I could feel was pain more vivid than I had felt in a very long time, and I couldn´t even think straight as I let out all the water I had swallowed without even realizing it. I felt hands drawing calming circles on my back, and I concentrated on the motion as I tried to gather my breath on the brief intervals I wasn´t throwing up.

''Yes, yes, you are okay!'' The voice exclaimed, this time much happier. ''Let it all out.''

As if I needed the order, but still, my body curled even more around itself and I threw up water until my lungs felt liberated, and I could breathe normally again. My throat was raw and my head hurt like hell, but I vaguely realized it was a good pain, it was an am-alive kind of pain, and for once I was enjoying it.

A couple of cold hands grabbed me softly by my face when my breathing finally slowed down, and when I opened my eyes, I found myself staring into a pair of yellow eyes as bright as the sun in the sky.

Slowly, recognition set in, and I finally knew who that voice belonged to.

''Are you okay?'' Kish asked me with an edge of nervousness to his voice. ''You were underwater for a while, but I think you managed to get it all out of you, do you feel better now?''

While he talked, I could only seem to stare at him dumbfounded.

_Kish? What the hell is he doing here? And what water?_

I looked around, believing I could find some sort of answer if I knew where we were, but it only left me even more confused.

 _Shit,_ I thought with a shudder, _this isn't Tokyo._ Probably wasn't even Japan.

As far as I could see, we seemed to be in some sort of island, with an endless line of blue on the horizon (the ocean I had probably almost drowned myself in) golden sand under our bodies, and a thick jungle of trees and mountains a little up ahead. The place didn't seem familiar to me at all, and it looked to be completely empty of other human life, so why were we here? Where was this place?

''Ichigo,'' Kish drew my attention to him again, and reached out his hand as if to touch me.

He never got to do that, though, because one look at his form looming over me, and I don't know why, but it suddenly made me remember everything that had happened earlier that day as if I could relieve it once again in my memories. Masha's call, the meadow, the fight, the strange dark cloaked figures…everything was coming back to me with the force of a train at full speed. It was so painfully clear now: the aliens had come back to Earth to cause a war again, this time with new weapons, and whatever plan they had constructed I had managed to fall right into their trap.

My fleeting memories ended with a fight Kish and I had on top of trees, and then started back up again right here on this beach. I wasn't sure about the rest, but I highly doubted it had been my decision to drop everything in the middle of a fight to have a beach day with my mortal enemy.

_Unlikely._

The other option was that Kish had somehow managed to get me unconscious and teleported both of us to this place, and honestly that sounded a lot like something he would do considering the many threats I had heard directly from his mouth four years ago. Was this his plan? Was he still caught up on a fantasy about the two of us living a happily ever after in the middle of paradise? Had I just let him take me away?

 _Son of a bitch_ , I muttered in my head, and shoved hard at him until he hit the sand on his back.

''Ichigo, wait…'' Kish tried to say while he shakily rose to his feet, and reached a hand towards me again, but I didn´t let him continue.

''Don't you dare touch me.'' I mostly growled at him and batted his hand away.

He stayed still then, with eyes wide open, staring at me as if he couldn't understand the logic behind my reaction, like being taken away all of a sudden shouldn´t make a girl this angry. Maybe that was the case for alien girls, but human ones got pissed off over this.

I gave him my best go-to-hell-and-stay-there look, feeling like I was thirteen years old once again being harassed by a psychotic alien, and I hated myself for feeling like that, because I had thought those days were behind me. I had thought I was safe.

 _This isn't different at all_ , I thought to myself, so angry I felt like I could start a fire inside my body and burn everything around me _, we are back at the beginning._

After Kish and his alien friends had left our planet once and for all to save their home three years ago, a part of me had stayed tense and alert for a really long time, fearing he would come back in a surprise attack at any given moment to claim me and take me away. I used to look over my shoulder when I walked on the street and got tense when I saw a shadow outside my bedroom window, and even fully transformed a couple of times when a loud noise surprised me…but none of those times I had seen Kish again.

Part of me had always been ready to fight him off if he ever did come back, but after several months of silence I finally relaxed and started to enjoy my life again. Suddenly, I became a decent student, a considerate daughter, a caring girlfriend and a good friend. My life slowly pieced itself back together the way every other teenager in my class should live her life, and I was able to focus on tests and college applications, and enjoy sleepovers with my friends and dates to the movies with Masaya. My life was normal, absolutely, one hundred percent normal.

 _Until today_. And it was all his fault.

''I don't know what's going on through that cute head of yours, but if you give me a moment I can explain…''

''Explain what?'' I interrupted him in mockery. ''You want to explain your sick obsession with me? You think that gives you the right to kidnap me?''

God, I was furious! He had said again and again that he wanted to take me away someplace where we could be alone together for the rest of our lives, a total stalker thing to say if you ask me. Even after all this time, I´m not even sure if he believed I shared his ridiculous dream, or if he was aware of my resistance and he simply didn´t care about my opinion. The first option was downright crazy, and the second one was incredibly selfish and offensive to me, but either way, four years later, I was in the exact nightmare scenario I had always feared, and he wanted to explain his reasoning? As if that were possible!

I had always known he could be selfish and extreme enough to actually pull off something like this, but stupidly, I had assumed I wouldn't fall for it, that I would be smart enough not to get kidnapped by the alien. I had proven more than once in the past that my power was considerably stronger than his, that I could beat him in any fight, so why was I now a prisoner? Some superhero I had turned out to be.

"What are you talking about? I haven´t kidnapped you" he said slowly, eyes a little unfocused and sweat rolling down his forehead.

"Oh yeah? Then what do you call this?" I said, opening my arms wide in an gesture to the obviously not Japanese landscape.

"A mistake." He said simply.

Well, that was something we could agree on.

"Damn right it´s a mistake," I told him, and even though I was shaking with anger I tried to keep myself steady because I needed him to know how serious I was, "take me home right now."

Even though it was a simple request, Kish seemed defeated and almost apologetic as he stared back at me and answered in a small voice:

"I can´t do that, Ichigo."

Even though I had emptied my lungs and stomach already, I suddenly felt sick enough to throw up once again, but I resisted the urge because I needed my strength if I was going to fight against Kish, and this definitely would end in a fight if he was going to be stubborn about a very simple request. Thankfully, he seemed a little off, like he was coming down with something or feeling weak from the previous fight, and with my levels of anger and adrenaline, I had energy to spare.

If somebody had told me my day would end in the middle of a deserted island about to face my old enemy, I would have laughed my ass off…but I didn´t feel like laughing now. I felt more like punching stuff, actually. I felt like yelling until the anxiety ball inside my stomach disappeared.

''You left,'' I reminded him angrily. ''You left with the promise not to come back ever again, and you couldn't keep it? When we gave you the Mew Aqua so you could save your planet, I thought that entitled us to a little bit of peace, you know?''

He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but I had way too much to say to let him have the floor.

''No, you couldn't just stay in your planet and live your life away from us, right? You had to come back and screw everything up again. How long did it take you to plan your attack? Or to fabricate those weapons? My congratulations to the manufacturer, they seem deadly enough.''

Kish shook his head again and stumbled slightly, like his body was weighting a ton and it was getting hard to keep standing. He managed to stay on his feet, though, and looked me straight in the eyes when he answered:

''No, you are wrong, Ichigo, we didn't…''

I closed my hands into fists and stopped listening, hearing a buzzing in my ears and a static in my brain way too strong for me to ignore. I thought about punching him until my anger went away…until he went away, but I knew just how determined he could be, especially about me, and he wasn't going to go quietly, not when he had excuses.

Excuses and lies. That was all he had at his disposal, all he had ever shown me during the year we had been enemies when I was only thirteen. I had fallen for his words then, for his sad story about a planet in the brink of destruction, and I had been moved enough to actually give his species the Mew Aqua to survive. It should have been the end of him in my life, it should have been the end of his obsession with me, it should have been the last mission from the Mew Project.

It wasn´t.

 _What does he want now?_ I asked myself closing my eyes, because I didn´t want to look at his face anymore, what could he possibly hope to accomplish by getting me to this place?

I hated him so freaking much, and his useless explaining and lies fueled my rage even further until all i could see was red. I didn't want to listen to him, I didn´t want to give him a chance to sway me again. Not anymore.

''No!'' I yelled, and he shut up in surprise, looking at me as if I was someone else he couldn't recognize. ''I don't care about your excuses, Kish. I can't keep playing this stupid game in which you come to destroy humanity, and at the same time you expect me to be yours, and then we fight and you leave, but it turns out you are never far gone and everything starts up again in this…awful, annoying and freaking stressful cycle you put me in four years ago!''

I took a moment to breathe; surprised I had spilled all that information out without erupting like a volcano, but I had more to say.

''I can't do this anymore. It's sick, Kish…it's sick and tiring and unbearable, and it won't lead you anywhere because I am not yours. I will never be yours! Can't you understand that already? You sicken me! You are everything I could possibly hate, and all those times you tried to win me over, I was just thinking how sweet it would be to kick you all the way to your stupid planet! You are nothing to me, and the fact that you are back changes absolutely nothing about how I always thought of you. You are arrogant, abusive, and I hate you, Kish, I truly hate you!''

I shut up finally, taking long, deep breaths inside my lungs and finally feeling like the tornado inside my head was receding. Only then, when I had let out everything I had always wanted to say to him, I noticed the silence on his end.

I knew the old Kish would have laughed at me, probably even had stolen a kiss or two, and started fighting me again. With him, I could never tell what reaction I would get, but I wasn´t expecting the one I got. Only silence and…sadness?

As strange as it sounds, Kish seemed beaten down, as if I had punched him one too many times and now he couldn't find his strength anymore. He didn't actually say anything, but his eyes were locked on mine, and I could see a mixture of pain and surprise as if he had never expected my words. I hadn't expected them either, but I wasn't feeling guilty for being honest! He deserved them, each and every one of the words I had spoken in anger, in hate, in…cruelty. I wasn't usually a cruel person, and I wasn't used to feeling guilty…

 _But he deserves it,_ I told myself again, _he deserves it all._

''Go on, try to tell me I'm wrong again,'' I said, crossing my arms over my chest. ''What do you have to say for yourself?''

But he didn't answer anything, he merely lowered his gaze to the ground, and even though he was taller than me now, the way he stood made me feel like he was a lot smaller and fragile. I started to smile, somewhat proud of myself to actually make a sweet talker like Kish shut up for once, when suddenly, his body gave out and he fell forward right on top of me. I fell to the ground, his weight completely over mine, and it was much heavier than I had anticipated.

''Hey! What are you doing? Get up!''

As much as I yelled, the body underneath me wasn't moving. I wasn't even sure it was breathing, and I got nervous all of a sudden, thinking that he could have died in my arms or something. I went to check his pulse like I had seen on TV, only to realize I didn't know exactly where you can feel a pulse, or if his alien race even had one.

After a few seconds of pushing my fingers roughly into his neck and holding my breath to listen, I finally felt what could definitely pass as a pulse to my understanding, and I let my breath out in relief. Having him die on me in the middle of nowhere was pretty much the only thing that could have made our scenario even worse, not that it wasn't horrible in the first place.

_Well… now what?_

I was a mostly positive person, and because of my attitude towards life, I had always been proud of myself for being able to see the light when everything else seems to be falling apart. I always managed to see, or at least search for the good side of things, and eventually find myself out of whatever situation I was stuck in.

Not today though.

It didn't matter from which angle I tried to look at the situation; it was bad enough that even I couldn't see the good side, much less find a possible solution. I was stranded in the middle of an island somewhere in the world with an unconscious alien, and no way to contact home. I supposed my pendant held some sort of GPS system, but none of us had ever disappeared out of the blue to try and test my theory, so I wasn't sure my teammates could even start searching for me. Also, we didn't seem to be near a city with people, or wifi connection, so if a search party was in place, it would take a few days to track us…if they could even find us at all.

I looked at the horizon and noticed the sun was starting to come down. It wouldn't take long until all light went away, and I would be stuck in the dark with nothing to go on but the light of the stars. If there was a slim chance I could find civilization wherever we were, I needed to get moving. Plus, staying in the beach wasn't a good idea considering it was a heavily unprotected area, and in my human form I was starting to get cold. I started to get up, but Kish's weight was still on me, and he didn't seem like he would regain consciousness any time soon.

 _Should I leave him here?_ As soon as that though set in, I felt extremely guilty. Leaving him alone in that state meant leaving him to die, and as much as he deserved a cold shoulder from me, I didn't think I could live with myself if I at least didn't take him to a safe place. Maybe I had been cruel, but I didn't leave a person behind. Ever.

Even if said person had hurt me before.

I told myself I was too soft for my own good, but still I tried to get Kish to his feet. However, his weight was too much for mine, and he kept slipping through my fingers. I tried to pull him up many times, but it wouldn't work. Kish had definitely grown in size and increased his muscles over the years, but my body was still mostly small, skinny and kind of weak.

Laying him on the ground, I tried another approach and held his hands in mine so I could pull him over the sand. He would probably have scratches because of my rough handling, but it was the best I could think of, and anyway, I was willing to bet he preferred it to being stranded alone. So I pulled, and I pulled, and I pulled, until my back hurt and the sun went down. Everything went completely dark by then, not a single light in the heart of the jungle we eventually reached, but luckily my vision was better than that of a normal human being. Thank you, cat genes!

_Damn, he's heavy!_

I paused to stretch the muscles on my back and shoulders, and as soon as I let go of his arms, they went crashing on top of his body almost lifeless. I was surprised he hadn't woken up in the whole way over, especially with the way I was dragging him through the dirt. But why wasn't he waking up, though? Could he have been hurt without me even noticing? I felt more anxious than before, and quickly grabbed his arms again so I could keep going.

There didn't seem to be anything on sight. Not a person, not an establishment, not a sign of human life, and it was worrying me because I didn't know the first thing about survival in the wilderness, and the fact that I was carrying a possibly dead alien was too much responsibility for a seventeen year old city girl. I was starting to think that jungle was nothing more than a great expanse of green with no life in it, when suddenly my back hit a hard surface. I turned around, thinking it was a tree I had to go around, but to my surprise, I found a hut. Simple, small and rough, but with a roof and walls, and that was all I needed. More importantly, it told me there was actual life wherever we were, so we had a chance at least. Maybe we could even get help in the morning.

Invigorated, I stepped through the makeshift doorway and found no one inside. I quickly decided that our situation was special enough to allow a small little case of breaking and entering (if that was even a thing in a hut without a door) and I slowly laid Kish in a portion of the ground with leaves on it, resembling a bed. My hand went to his back to turn him around, and I felt something sticky on my fingers. When I got my fingers close enough to my face to see, I could smell the blood, and my head went very light over my shoulders.

In haste I turned his body around, afraid maybe I had hurt him by dragging him over the ground, but his wounds were very different from little scratches. No, this was something else entirely.

I breathed deeply, feeling a little sick, but I still forced myself to look, to assess, because as it turned out, he could actually have been dying right in front of me. There was a big gaping wound, tainting almost the whole expanse of his back dark red, clearly recent and looking extremely painful.

I remembered his attitude on the beach, the way he had swayed over his feet, the fact that he had let me do all the talking without complaining…and only now I could see they were clearly signs he wasn't okay. I had been so busy yelling to his face, saying all the things I had always wanted to say to him, when in the meantime, he had been losing blood like a faucet. His full on black out suddenly made a lot of sense.

_And I dragged him over the ground…_

Shit, I felt guilty again.

I had thought I could just leave him relatively safe on the jungle and go my own way, but seeing him like this, I wasn't sure he wouldn't die being all alone. Staying with him didn't mean he would be saved either, but then, what option did I have?

 _I better find something to clean his wound with,_ I decided. Chances were, I wouldn't be able to do anything for him, but at least it was a chore I could do to feel useful, and I wouldn't just leave him to die. Even though he was a psychopath, I doubted he wouldn't try to do everything in his power to save me. He had shown me many times what his obsession for me meant, and I wouldn't sink to anything below his level by refusing to help him. I wouldn't let his death be on me.

I got up, and with haste I made my way back to the beach.


	4. Chapter 4

I moved through the thick jungle, been guided mostly by the sound of the crashing waves on the beach, and I was glad the road back was much quicker now that I didn't have to carry an unconscious adult alien with me. I would have probably gotten there even sooner if I had transformed, but I didn't want to waste too much energy or scare a person who could be close by.

I made my way through the vegetation, until abruptly the vastness of a big blue ocean appeared in front of me, and I searched the sand for something I could use to carry water back to Kish, maybe a shell or something similar. I circled the beach a few times, but the sand was as clean as if Masaya had had organized a party to help clean it, and there didn't seem to be anything useful on sight, at least not in the dark.

_I'm so stupid…what did I expect to find anyway?_ Aside from cleaning the gash on Kish´s back with salt water, I couldn't think of anything else that would heal his wound, or at least keep it from festering and killing him while on my watch. I wasn't a doctor or a nurse, and even if I had any sort of medical knowledge, to actually be useful I would probably need stuff like needle, thread and a whole lot of morphine, right? Not exactly items one could find easily on a deserted island. Lettuce was smart enough to know something about healing plants or herbs, but unfortunately she wasn´t here to teach me the basics, and I couldn´t risk using something that could make Kish worse instead of better.

I felt exhausted all of a sudden, sore from whatever attack I had received back at home, and incredibly pissed off at the whole situation. I was clearly not on my helpful state, and all I wanted to do was sit down for a minute and just…rest. I really, really needed a rest.

_And I deserve one!_ I realized.

A stressful day wearing the Mew uniform and taking care of my enemy, in my book, that entitled me to at least a two minute break, so without a second thought, I sat down in the sand and let myself lay down looking at the stars.

I wanted to sleep so badly, and wake up again when everything was sorted out and Masaya could wake me up with a kiss… but it was an image that seemed so far away right now, as if it was part of an old life I could never get back to. A life so simple and happy it made me want to scream, because I wanted it again!

This whole nightmare involving kidnappings and the weight of humanity over my shoulder was too much for my teenage life, and I didn't want to be a part of it anymore. I needed common problems and stupidly easy solutions, as any other kid my age gets. Figuring out how to get Mint back to work, when to squeeze a date into my schedule, or even doing my math homework in time for a test, those were problems I could handle. Those were problems I could actually live with.

_But this?_ I wasn't sure I could live with this.

I wanted the easy going, fun, uncaring life my friends at school were living, but it just seemed to be escaping me every time.

_Don't I get the right?_ I asked myself, sort of wanting Kish to wake up again so I could keep on yelling at him. _Why do I have the responsibility to risk my life every day? Why do I have to be okay with it when I never agreed to it in the first place?_

So what if my DNA matched that of an endangered cat?! I was supposed to be done with the whole superhero deal. After a whole year of fighting crime, sneaking around behind my parents back and lying to the people that I love, I had been promised peace and quiet. I had been promised a normal life. It wasn't fair I had to take up the job again because that promise hadn't been kept. It just…wasn't fair.

More than two minutes had passed, but I didn't have the energy to get up yet, so I just laid there listening to the sounds of the ocean, and feeling a slight wind ruffling my hair. Even though I had a pressing matter right now (stranded on an island and all that) I couldn't stop wondering what exactly I would do when I got back home and became a superhero 24/7 again.

I wasn't looking forward to lying to my parents again; it made me feel too guilty and a little bit like a bad daughter, but there was no way I could tell them the truth about the Mews. They worried too much, and I knew they wouldn't get the need behind the job, so whether I wanted to or not, I was stuck with the lies again in order to protect them along with the rest of the world. It didn't make me happy, but I could see it was necessary.

Masaya, thought, he was a whole different matter.

Thinking about my sweet, ever understanding and perfect boyfriend made me want to jump into the water once again and just stay there. Being his usual loving self, I knew he would never yell or get mad at me for cancelling our dates at the last minute. He would only smile and tell me to meet him another day, because like me, he understood the importance of my role as a Mew and the need to protect our planet from something the authorities wouldn´t be able to confront. Truthfully, it should have been a relief that he was so supportive of me, but it only really made me feel even guiltier.

He didn't deserve to go back to a time of waiting around to see if I would actually arrive to our date or not. We had been through that already when we were younger, and I didn't think either of us was prepared to do it again. We could both remember that year in a mixture of happiness and sadness, for having found one another, but had to lie to protect a secret bigger than all of us. Both of us had told a number of excuses in order not to get the other one in danger, and it had almost killed our relationship, back when it was just getting started.

_But it didn't happen_. I told myself. _We grew stronger together._

It had been tough at first, but after a small period of adjustment, we had eventually managed to show each other our true selves: the part of him and I that we would never show to anyone else. When the danger had finally passed, and there was no need to use our alter egos anymore, we were able to finally focus on us, and just try to be happy. After that, anything other than our relationship hadn't mattered to me anymore.

I could remember so distinctly one specific day that never failed to cheer me up when I was down. It was a few weeks after the aliens had left our planet, and Deep Blue had disappeared to become the Masaya I had fallen in love with once again. Since I didn't have to transform anymore, it was the first day I had ventured outside without my pendant, and went on a real, official, honest date with Masaya, as just a normal girl. It may sound cliché, but it was everything I had ever dreamed it would be.

* * *

_I moved through the crowd, going against the current at times, and checking my watch every few minutes. One would think that without the responsibility to save the world and more free time on their hands, one could get to places on time…but it wasn't true. At least not for me. Turns out, I wanted to look pretty, and nothing I had on my closet even came close to the look I was hoping to achieve. I had been well underway to trying out every piece of clothing I could get my hands on before I realized how late it was, and I ended up running out the door with a simple skirt and shirt I had found lying on the floor. Nothing special, but I didn't want to keep Masaya waiting._

_I had been running on the sidewalk way too fast, and when I tripped over my own feet it wasn't really a surprise. What surprised me was the arm that caught me and kept me from crashing my face into the ground. I straightened so I could thank that person and then run away again to my meeting point, but when I looked at that person's face I realized it was the same one I had been wanting to see all day._

_''Masaya," I said his name and felt a smile cover my face._

_He smiled right back at me and took my hand, drawing me away from the street. I tried to fix my skirt, comb my hair and get breath into my lungs, all at the same time, but it quickly became impossible. I must have looked like a walking disaster, and I told myself I could have put on a little bit more effort, but he didn´t seem to mind._

_''You look so pretty,'' He told me, and I went red all over. Even though I knew it wasn't true, I still thanked him because he made me feel that way. Next to him, I always seemed to feel pretty._

_The night went as good dates should usually go: fun, easy going, with no emergency calls or one of us having to run away with a silly excuse, simply two teenagers having fun and getting to know one another. I kept tucking my hair behind my ear because I didn´t have my pendant on to play with, and when I reminded myself I didn´t need it anymore, I eventually relaxed. Later, Masaya took me home, and I could see my mom staring at us through the kitchen window. I ignored her, and let him kiss me under the lamplight on the street. I immediately felt my heart swell inside my chest…_

* * *

I opened my eyes, and stepped out of the memory as I looked at the stars above my head. I could remember that night so clearly it was like a movie inside my head: the warm breath on my lips right before the moment he kissed me, one of his soft hands on my cheek framing my face, and the way his eyes stared into mine as if I was the only thing he cared to see. I had felt like walking on clouds throughout the whole evening, but that moment, that kiss and those eyes on me almost had me melt right there on the spot. I had wanted that kiss to continue forever, to take me away so I wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again. Even now, possibly a thousand miles away from Masaya, all I could think about was the way his arms could make me feel so warm and loved.

Without him, I just felt cold.

_I want to go back_ , I wished. It felt so wrong to be so far away from him, and just imagining Masaya alone at his place, waiting for a call from me that would never arrive because I didn't have a freaking cellphone here, made me so sad. He must be so worried...

Suddenly, the sounds of footsteps alerted me, and I stood up immediately. I looked around and the realization I wasn't alone in that beach was like a bucket of cold water over my head. Right in front of me appeared to be a man, big and apparently strong with an angry look in his eye. At first, I felt kind of relieved I had found another human being and thought he could possibly help me keep Kish alive, but the more I looked, and the closer he got, I was less sure about his moral intentions. An alarm sounded in my brain, an alarm I guess only girls get when they find themselves alone with a strange man and I went cold all over when I realized he wouldn´t be the help I needed, he would be another problem. I tensed visibly, ready to jump at any second if I found him a threat.

I generally took pride in my fast reflexes and the way I could carry myself in battle, but this was different to the failed alien experiments I had fought in the past. This was a strange man, a human I wasn't even sure I could hurt with the power of my bell, and even if I attempted to attack him on my Mew form, one of my punches or kicks could actually kill him, and wasn't I supposed to be humanity's guardian or something? I couldn't go around killing humans, but he was looking at me in a way not even Kish had looked at me before, like he wanted something from me, and I really didn't think I wanted to give it to him.

_Run_ , I told myself.

I felt my knees trembling a little and feared my weight would give out, so I started walking slowly backwards, hoping to gain a little distance from him before I started running, but he picked up on my plan and quickly gained ground on me. Before I could scream he shut me up with a hand against my mouth, and I realized I was in a disadvantage as long as I stayed a human.

I went to reach my pendant, but he threw me to the ground before I could get to it, and threw his body over mine. Everything was happening way too fast and my body seemed to slow and unresponsive. My brain started screaming at my body to get back up, to fight, to yell, to hurt…anything that could help me get away and not feel his hands all over me, touching me as if I was nothing more than an old sack on the ground. I didn't want to know what would happen if I let him have his way, and I made sure not to ever find out.

So I fought. When he tried to take my shirt away I elbowed him in the nose, and when he grabbed his face in pain, I got up and started running, not bothering to look where I was going. I vaguely noticed I had once again gone inside the jungle and I hit every branch and bush as I tried to get as far away as possible. I was so disoriented I wasn't sure where I was going, and the man caught up with me easily enough.

A tug on my shirt jerked me back and I fell backwards with a scream so loud I might as well have announced my location to every person on this island. He tried to throw me to the ground again, but I knew if he succeeded I wouldn't be able to get back up again, so that was not an option. We wrestled and ran, and I always managed to stay one step ahead, but one step was not enough, and I was getting tired and more scared by the second. Suddenly, he managed to grab me by the hair and punch me so hard square in the face, I actually saw stars behind my eyelids.

As a Mew fighter I knew how to take a punch, but I was out of practice and in such a state of shock I barely managed not to pass out. Once again, I found myself on the ground, with his heavy weight over mine, my head ringing and his hands pulling my shirt until it was free and discarded somewhere. His touch was like acid on my skin, making my stomach turn round and round and I was on the verge of throwing up. I tried to scream, even though there was nobody there to hear me, and as much as I tried to hurt him, my punches weren't making any real damage.

Tears came to my eyes and I had the sudden thought I was not as tough as I had envisioned, and that this was far from a fair fight. Once again I thought of my other form, the one that could take him and possibly crush him like a bug, and in the haze of my panic filled mind, that idea was not so abhorrent to me now. I made a break for my pendant, but he grabbed me by the hands and roughly pushed them to the ground trapping me like the small little girl I seemed to be. With an evil glint in his eye, he used his free hand to rip a strap of my bra, and in my head there were only screams.

Just when I thought I would rather kill him than let him touch one more centimeter of me, his weight was suddenly lifted, and I quickly sat up to cover my body with my discarded shirt on the ground. When I looked up, I saw a very angry alien boy lifting the stranger by his neck and with a strength that surprised me considering he had been unconscious not too long ago. I could still see his back covered in blood, but the firm fist on the man's throat let me know Kish was not as unprotected as I had assumed.

The stranger's face was getting red and quickly purple, as if he couldn't breathe, but by the looks of it, Kish was not interested in sparing his life as I had been before, and in my panic filled mind I found that I didn´t care as much. The idea of Kish actually killing the unknown man was not as horrible to me as it should have been, and I found myself tempted to let him take care of this problem for me...but I knew I wouldn´t be able to live with myself if I became an accomplice to murder.

No matter what that man had almost done to me.

No matter that I was far enough away and there were no witnesses in sight to allow anyone to ever tie me to this crime.

No matter that I wouldn´t be doing the dirty work myself...I still couldn´t let Kish go throught with this. I couldn´t let him kill a human.

I opened my mouth to try to speak but nothing was coming out, and I tried again.

"Kish," I called his name, but he wasn´t lookin at me, his eyes were solely focused on his prey, "Kish!"

He seemed to wake up from a dream then, and even though his hands did not stop applying pressure to the man´s neck, he tilted his head in my direction and looked at me as if I was someone he didn´t know. I couldn´t get up yet, and even if I could, I wasn´t sure it would be a good idea to approach Kish when his eyes were shinning in so much rage. The thought of running away again actually crossed my mind, but I doubted my chances in the jungle were as good alone as with Kish, so I breathed in and called his name again.

"Don´t do this, Kish" I said, "just let go, please."

He looked at my eyes for a really long couple of seconds, and seemed to not understand my words at all. Suddenly, Kish turned his head to look back at the now almost completely out of breath man, and very slowly he whispered:

''Get away from here.''

Even though I was sure the stranger couldn't understand the words, he could definitely understand the meaning behind them, because as soon as Kish let go of his neck, he ran away into the dark. I watched him leave, very aware of the fact that letting him go wasn´t the best choice because he could come back at any minute, but part of me was also glad his death wouldn´t be on my conscience. He would probably be back and maybe with reinforcements, but I hopped Kish and I could make our way back home before then.

I opened my mouth to thank Kish for saving me, but I stayed quiet instead, because he had turned around, and was looking at me with a rage so clear it felt like a punch. He went to grab me, and in the same rough manner he pulled back before actually touching me. Only then I noticed the shaking of his hand.

''Is the idea of being around me so horrible that you would put yourself in this…situation?'' His tone was dripping anger and I found myself not knowing what to say in response.

He seemed furious, his hand going through his hair as if he didn't know what to do with himself right then, and he started pacing like wild animal recently out of a tiny cage. It shocked me, but not as much as his next words:

''Do you have any idea what would have happened if I hadn't been here to save your ass? If I hadn't for some miracle just woken up and heard you scream?'' He asked, but he wasn't expecting answers, he had come up with those all by himself. ''He would have killed you…after he used you thoroughly to his pleasure, of course.''

I tried to ask him to be quiet, to not say those things to me now, but he wouldn't allow me to even open my mouth.

''Shut up!'' He yelled and I unconsciously wanted to make myself smaller to escape his anger and the truth in his words. ''You think you know it all, don't you? You think you are invincible and amazing and nothing could ever possibly happen to you…so you face the world head on without fearing any consequences, don't you?''

_No!_ I wanted to scream, _I don't think that at all_. But I didn't yell, I didn't even whisper anything in response because my actions tonight somehow spoke even louder than his voice. I had let myself be caught like a stupid little damsel in distress, a little girl who doesn´t know any better. I had been reckless and angry and uncaring, and he had barely come to the rescue as I had laid on the ground shaking in fear and hoping for a miracle. I was still shaking, still holding back tears, and I was so far from the hero's image I had on my mind it was almost sad to see me now.

I realized he was angry at me, angry at my stupid decision making power, angry at the almost ending I had given myself this night. It wouldn't have been his body defiled by a stranger on an island somewhere in the world, but being the subject of his rage, it certainly felt that way, like I had almost broken something he wanted to keep safe.

''Well newsflash Ichigo! You are not invincible, you are not made of iron, you are barely a Mew now, so just…shut up and be afraid for once.'' He said, and then started pacing again.

_I am not invincible,_ I thought to myself but I didn't dare to say anything out loud. Kish had saved me, but he was mad enough to actually make me doubt if he would leave me alone in the middle of the jungle, and if that was a possibility for him I didn't want to find out. So I stayed quiet and let him vent all he wanted, because at least one of us should get the chance.

''To you I am just the evil alien, right? The one who kidnaps you and hurt you and makes your life a living hell. I was always just a stupid little boy in your mind who would never be good enough for you, right?''

He closed the distance between himself and me, and crouched down on the ground right in front of me.

''Well I guess I am clearly stupid if I step out of the role you put me in and try to do something as shocking as saving your life. The evil character doesn't waste time saving the girl, Ichigo, and I probably should have left you there alone so he could do what he pleased with you. That is what you are so sure I would do, right?''

He looked at me straight in the eyes then, with an intensity so strong I could feel it seething through me, making me so cold inside. I knew somewhere in my head he was getting even because of my words at the beach earlier, and I guessed I deserved the speech, because the notion he thought I had of him was true. To me he had always been evil, even when I had understood his intentions behind his species taking over our planet, and even when he had left once and for all, I had still thought of him as an enemy because of his obsession, because of his lack of boundaries and intentions. Was he trying to tell me he was not that person anymore? Was he not out to get me?

I was in a haze of confusion, fear and anxiety, and I couldn't for the life of me analyze all of this right now, but he kept looking at me, as if he could find whatever it was he wanted in my tear-filled brown eyes, as if I could prove him wrong somehow. But I couldn't.

''I wouldn't have hurt you,'' He said, so quietly I wouldn't have heard him had I been farther away. ''You are so sure about my intentions, but you don't know the first thing about me, or why I'm back in your life.''

Years ago I would have told him that there was nothing to know about him, that he was really just the guy who kidnaps and hurts me and makes my life a living hell. But now, I wasn't so sure anymore. Now I was afraid and alone and shaking like a leaf, and I couldn't think about any of this. I just wanted the panic inside my head to stop.

Eventually, whatever it was Kish tried to search for in my eyes, he realized he wouldn't find it, and got back up again.

''Don't get too far behind.'' He said and without looking at me he started walking.

I scrambled to my feet, following him not so far behind so I would still see him, but not so close as to unintentionally bump into his body. I realized we were walking back to the hut we had found, and frankly knowing we weren't alone on the island made me want to hide somewhere else. But it was where Kish was heading, and I preferred the alternative to being alone somewhere I didn't know.

Kish all but face planted on the ground by the pile of leaves and promptly ignored me. I stayed on my feet, not really sure about what was I supposed to do, and eventually decided I should keep watch in case someone stumbled on our hideout. So I sat down in a corner I could watch the ''door'' from and I stared into the jungle.

Amid the silence and the darkness, I felt my leg twitch slightly and I ignored it, but slowly it became more annoying and harder to pretend it wasn't there. A shivering started on my legs, spread through my stomach, shoulders and arms, until it reached my mouth and I felt like screaming. I covered my mouth, but that didn´t help much, and when I couldn't take it anymore I burst out into tears like a faucet. My body was shaking violently now, and I couldn't hold in any of my cries, even though I knew I shouldn't be making noise with dangerous people looming closely by, but I couldn't keep quiet, I couldn't stop crying and I hated myself for being so weak.

Suddenly I felt a touch on my shoulder and I instinctively tried to get away, but I had lost all my strength, and when a couple of arms surrounded me and drew me closer to a chest I had never been this close to…I let myself go. Kish felt warm against me, warm and safe and right somehow, but I didn't want to be comforted by someone who was currently angry at me, who thought of me as a stupid damsel barely worth saving, so again I tried to get away, and this time he hugged me tighter and put his head on the top of mine.

''It's alright.'' He whispered, and the furious voice I had heard before was now sweet and caring. His fingers lightly kneaded the muscles on my neck I hadn't been aware were tensed, while he whispered comforting words in my ear I barely understood.

I didn't want to let go completely, but I was so tired and had been so scared, that my body made the decision for me, and before I realized what I was doing, I found myself clinging desperately to his shirt and his body. He drew me as close as our bodies could get, and I found myself needing that closeness to keep myself together. I cried on his shoulder for a while, letting all my anguish and fear out the only way I knew how, and I tried to ignore the fact I was hugging and being hugged by someone who had tried to kill me more than once in the past. Right then, our history didn´t matter to me at all.

When the sun came out I would probably try to deny all of this, but now, in the dark, I needed it...I needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like where this is going, I appreciate any comment you could leave on this story :) Thank you so much reading, and see you on the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up without any memory of having fallen asleep, lying down on the hard ground or even closing my eyes to rest for a minute. I wasn't even sure if I had decided to sleep at some point in the night, or merely passed out from exhaustion after the day I had had. I only knew I had dreamt of a labyrinth, a dark corridor of nothing but high walls and a faceless figure chasing me down until it finally caught me to rip me apart. It was as terrifying as it was confusing, but not at all surprising considering the events that had transpired mere hours ago.

Nightmare or not, I wanted to steal at least one more minute of peaceful dreamland, but quickly found that I couldn't shut my mind off no matter how hard I tried. And I tried… I tried not thinking about it, but the images kept flowing into my head, like annoying mosquitoes attacking all around me and thousands at a time. I kept seeing flashes of the jungle while I ran for my life, and hands all over my body, touching me as if they had a right to do as they pleased with my body, as if they wanted something from me and not caring that I didn't want to oblige.

Without realizing, one of my hands came up to scratch my skin, suddenly feeling a whole coat of dirt all over my body I couldn't seem to clean. I knew my ''cleanness'' had nothing to do with a man I didn't know touching me, and everything to do with sleeping on the ground in the middle of the jungle, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that his hands were still on me, still harsh and violent and forceful, and I wanted them off.

Truth be told, I wasn't used to feeling this vulnerable or scared. My enhanced DNA had made sure I received stronger senses that made be better than any human being on the planet, and my constant training had meant I was not useless or weak in a fight, so I supposedly should manage to face another person (human or not) fairly easy.

_Supposedly_ being the key word, here because the strong, brave warrior I had thought I still was, had not really made an appearance last night. The stranger on the beach had surprised me when I lowered my guard, had been relentless in his attempt to…touch me in a way no one had ever tried to touch me before, and to my surprise I had frozen. When I needed it the most, my body had frozen!

I had fought aliens, countless quimeras, and dueled with my teammates more times than I could count, so it was a surprise for me to learn after so long, that otherworldly enemies could not terrify me as pure human malice could.

_And if Kish hadn't been there_ … I thought to myself but I couldn't seem to finish the thought. I didn´t want to go there, but my mind kept wondering about all the possible scenarios in which I could have died in many different and horrible ways, and the images made me freeze all over again, as if I hadn´t escaped, as if I was still trapped in that maze of a jungle. Maybe I couldn't be sure what could have happened if Kish hadn't showed up to help me, but I was dead sure my night would have ended much, much differently.

I looked up, expecting to see Kish asleep on the floor just like me, but I was surprised to see him sitting down with his back straight against a wall of wood, staring ahead into the jungle. He was using one of his daggers to sharpen a piece of wood, creating a small weapon he didn't really need, but had probably kept him busy throughout the night.

I thought about saying something, but I didn't quite know what to say to the person who had both saved my life and kidnapped me in the same day, so I ended up staying silent for a little while longer. I sat up and watched him for a few moments before he noticed I was awake.

He was shirtless, I supposed because the wound on his back was still fresh and probably caused him pain to be pressed against fabric, or maybe he was just too warm for the tropical weather of…wherever we were. For whatever reason, without his clothes, I could see the paleness of his skin more clearly than ever, white all over and not a sight of freckles or colour anywhere, except in the few spots where there were dirt smudges from him having passed out on the ground. There were also big purple bags under his eyes, which indicated me he probably hadn't slept all that well during the night, if at all.

My eyes suddenly went to his hands, which were the only part of his body I could see moving about in an almost automatic way, as if he had been doing the same repetitive motion over and over throughout the night. I realized then, that his fingers were long, elegant, and I asked myself vaguely if I had never noticed that rather simple and unimportant fact before, or if it was something new he had developed over the years. I wasn't sure.

I tried to remember, but of that particular year I had been in contact with Kish, only sour and hate-filled memories came to mind, and I realized there was a lot I knew about him as an enemy and about what kind of warrior he was, but there was not much I knew about him as a person. I could write a report about his fighting techniques or his chimera creations, but I was lost when it came to personal information, such as what food did he like? Did he have a hobby? Was there a family he had left back at his planet? What was his relationship with other ciniclons other than Pai or Tart? All useless and unimportant questions, of course, but somehow it was weird to realize I had so little information about someone who had played such a major role in my life during my beginning as a Mew, even if he had always been an enemy.

Truth is I had met Kish even before I had met any of the mews. Before, Mint, Pudding, Lettuce and Zakuro had come into my life, he had appeared before me, all bright eyed and a wide grin across his face, marking the beginning to what became a very strange and actively dangerous life for me. I thought I had had him all figured out as the bad guy, but then he had gone ahead and died protecting me in battle against Deep Blue and to this day, his stupid, reckless actions still throw me off guard. With so much history between us…I couldn't think of a word of thanks to say to him?

_"You are so sure about my intentions, but you don't know the first thing about me, or why I'm back in your life.''_

I cringed at his words from the night before, so full of anger and hate and…truth. He was right after all, even if I didn´t want to see it: I didn´t know anything about the alien. I had never even tried to learn a thing.

In the very beginning, we had thought the aliens had come to Earth wanting to fight and annihilate every living thing on our planet only because they could. It was later on we found out they were only trying to protect their species and give a better future to their families back on their planet, just like we were doing. Knowing this, we gained a little bit of perspective and we started to wonder if we couldn't be something more than just enemies in a war over a land. Suddenly peace wasn't entirely an impossible dream.

Nonetheless, Kish was another matter altogether. I think, maybe, we could have become friends, just like Tart and Pudding had become after our enmity between our species was over, but his apparent inability to stop trying to make me his possession, had completely shattered every possibility we could have had of a lasting friendship. Since the beginning he had declared me his, and hadn't stop making moves on me until the very end, when he finally realized he couldn't force me to become whatever image he had of me in his head, and finally gave up. But by then it was too late to start trusting him or form any kind of relationship. By then I only wanted him to leave already and never come back to Earth.

It was shocking to believe I was actually seeing him again after all this time, and my brain couldn´t help but think he was here to screw with my life one more time because that was all he ever did...but maybe that was not all there was to his return?

It was sad and strange to know I felt so conflicted inside, that part of me didn't want to even look at him, while another part of me felt I should at least give him the benefit of the doubt. I didn't like being rude to people if I could help it, and all I had done until that moment was being rude. Kidnapping or not, he had saved my life, and that counted for something, right?

_But he is just so…weird,_ I thought to myself, watching him turn a piece of wood into a deadly weapon with unblinking eyes. He was there to save me when I needed him, but he was so close-minded it was nerve-wracking. I could remember all the times he had accused me of lying to myself about my feelings for Masaya, saying I loved him instead, but wasn't brave enough to admit it. No matter how many times I told him he was only dreaming, he had chosen to believe his own stupid reasoning instead of my facts, and that had frustrated me so much as a child, because I had felt I would never find a way to make him understand I didn't share his feelings. I had felt he would never hear me over the sound of his own obsessive voice.

_Does he still act that way?_ I asked to myself. I didn´t know.

Suddenly, Kish turned his head towards me, and he seemed unable to find fitting words either. We were both silent, watching the other intently, almost daring each other to start talking, to see who would break the ice first. I decided to do it myself, because the silence was unbearable.

''Is your wound still hurting?''

He frowned, but didn't say anything, looking as if he was thoughtful about his answer. He was so tired I could almost see the words inside his mind forming slowly into a sentence.

''I don't know,'' he said, and only then I realized just how much his voice had changed since the last time I had seen him three years ago. His voice was raspier now, a little more mature.

We had talked with each other (but mostly yelled at each other) more in two days than in the last few years, and even so I hadn't realized a change so obvious. I assumed I had been too afraid/angry/exhausted to notice, but I was still surprised. How many other things about himself had changed without me noticing?

''Do you want me to take a look at it?'' I asked, and even though I didn't feel like playing nurse, I kind of owed it to him.

He seemed…suspicious, and I found his reaction odd. The Kish I knew would never pass on a chance of being touched by me in any way, but now he didn't seem as eager or hopeful. He actually looked at me as if I were a stranger proposing something indecent.

_And I'm clearly not a stranger._ Hadn't we been in enough life or death situations lately not to be acting like we didn't know exactly who the other one was? But, suddenly, something I had said on the beach a few hours ago came to mind, and I understood his wariness towards me.

_"You disgust me",_ I had said, and in that moment of confusion and fear I had meant it, but now I regretted my words a little bit. Of course he would try to stay the hell away from me, I had demanded it of him, and I was pretty sure I had hurt him in the process. I didn't want my words to be so hurtful to the point he wouldn't allow me to help him, otherwise the time we needed to spend stranded on an island until help could come, was going to become unbearable and exhausting.

Either I wanted to admit it or not, I needed Kish, and he probably needed me too, because he was in just an unfamiliar territory as I was. We needed to develop a partnership, a temporary one of course, but a strong partnership to make sure we lived long enough to go back home, and for that I needed him to trust me at least a little. Since I had hurt him, I guessed I could take the first step to try and fix our messed up relationship.

I stood up and offered my hand to him.

''Go on,'' I told him, with a smile I didn't feel but I faked anyway. ''I want to help you. We could even go down to the beach and put salt water on you to kill any kind of infection.''

''I doubt that will happen,'' He answered while looking at my extended hand but without taking it. ''Ciniclon bodies are strong, and I sort of became immune to many bacteria after I was repeatedly wounded during the time I spent here in my first visit… I guess I have you to thank for that.''

His tone was dripping with sarcasm but I ignored it. Yeah, I had probably given him a scar or two in the past, but he hadn't exactly been a weak adversary. The damage my kick or my claws could make on him, it was nothing comparing to his fists or his daggers. Even though there wasn't a need to battle anymore, I could still feel the need to fight each other off, like a sleeping beast waiting for one of us to be stupid enough to awake it.

It was not going to be me.

''Well… better safe than sorry, right?''

He frowned, and got back to sharpening his newest weapon.

''I don't know why you want to go there so badly. Wasn't it enough almost getting raped and murdered?''

I froze, not believing what I was hearing. I unconsciously lifted my hand and touched the skin of my arm, feeling the goose bumps again, and I shivered in spite of myself. Clearly I had pushed him too hard while he was still too angry, but that had been cruel. And I wasn't used to cruel.

He doesn't have to tell me this…

I was turning around, not really knowing where I was going, just knowing I had to move someplace else, when suddenly he stood up quickly and caught my arm.

''I'm sorry,'' He said, and I was taken aback because I couldn't remember a time I had heard him apologize to somebody, much less to me. ''I didn't mean any of that. I'm just…tired and irritated.''

I nodded but kept my gaze on the ground because the last thing I wanted was for him to know exactly how much his comment had affected me. With Kish, I knew better than to show any kind of weakness, because he would take advantage of it some way or another, and I wasn't prepared for the only person I knew on that island to take advantage of me.

''Ichigo,'' he said with a much softer voice now, ''look at me.''

He didn't touch me or made any motion to force me. He only stood there, in front of me, silent and demanding, until I raised my gaze and all I could see was a very honest pair of yellow eyes.

''I'm sorry,'' He repeated, and tried offering me a smile as well, to form a truce maybe. I found myself smiling back.

''Wow… two apologies in one day. What's up with you?'' I asked as a joke and I was glad when I felt a little less tension between us.

He seemed relieved as well, and passed a hand trough his hair absentmindedly, setting a few strands of hair loose from the ponytail at his nape. I watched the movement and realized he had let it grow out, and now was much longer than we were kids.

''I'm not the same person you met four years ago, Ichigo.''

Part of me wished that wasn´t true, even if it meant having an obssesed and annoying little alien trying to win me over.

_Well, not so little now,_ I thought.

I was used to handling Kish´s advances and attacks, but the possibility of forming a truce with someone I didn´t know a single thing about was completely new to me, and it scared me a little. He truly seemed changed, physically without a doubt, but his personality seemed different too, only I wasn´t sure if it was for better or for worse. He appeared to be more empathic now, and less prone to jumping me as soon as I turned my back on him, but how could I know this wasn´t all an act? How could I be sure he wouldn´t try something with me as soon as I let my guard down?

Then don´t let your guard down, I told myself, don´t forget your past.

I sort of wished we could start over, meet again with a clean slate and forget he had tried to kill me many times, or kidnap me to make me his bride. I wished I could believe he was mature enough to understand my feelings a little bit, and apologize for acting like a jerk, without first thinking he was lying. Part of me wasn´t sure I could ever let go of the past long enough for me to trust him this much...but I also couldn't forget about the way he had comforted me the night before. When I needed another person the most, he had been there for me, without questions, without judgement, without asking for anything else, he had been there for me, and maybe that was enough to make me believe in his words. At least a little bit.

_But what does he feel for me now?_ I wondered.

Despite claiming time and time again about his endless love for me, and his desire to take me back to his planet to make me his wife, I had always doubted he understood what being in love is supposed to feel like. He had never tried to be sweet towards me, or understanding, or even wary to fight me. I suspected he enjoyed fights, and with a great display of strength was how he hoped to win me over, because maybe that was the stupid way his people found their loved ones on their planet.

But certainly now, he didn't seem so overly obsessive, and the change was refreshing.

Kish moved to hold my wrist, and I tensed for a second before I realized his intention. His hand held mine in a handshake and he said:

''I'd like to take you up on your offer.''

I had the urge to take back my words and back away, but I reminded myself of the need to work together to get out of the island. I reminded myself it didn't make any sense if I kept pushing him away, especially if he was going to act all civilized. I reminded myself it would be beneficial for the both of us to form an alliance.

So I also shook his hand and sealed our agreement, but I had no clue what awaited for either of us.

* * *

We silently walked to the beach, closed to each other in case there was a threat nearby, but fortunately we didn't cross any other human being or animal in our path, and when we finally reached the beach we relaxed a little bit.

A desolated area with no cover wasn't the ideal place to be hanging out because there weren't many places to hide, but entering the jungle was actually worse for both of us because we didn't know the area at all, or all the dangers it could conceal from our eyes. Plus, if for some reason my friends were searching for me in the right location, the beach was an easy place to be spotted, and I really needed to be found already so I could go back home.

As soon as we reached the beach, Kish turned around with his back to the ocean, and his eyes scrutinized the jungle, probably making sure we wouldn't be caught by surprise by whoever was living here. I should have been watching too, but I couldn't take my eyes off the big ugly injury on his back.

_Well, at least he is not bleeding_ , I told myself. It appeared to have closed during the night, and as he had said back in the hut, it didn't seem to be infected, but it probably hurt like hell. At night I hadn't been able to see all that well, but now in the sunlight, I could see it wasn't a regular injury in the least. It wasn't a bruise, or a gash from a claw or a knife, it was like a…burn of some kind. What kind of weapon could possibly make that kind of wound?

''When did you get hurt?'' I asked him.

I put my hands together to gather water from the ocean, and I poured a little on his back to wipe away remains of dried blood. I saw him flinch a little, but he didn't voice his pain aloud, so I continued with my task. If I hadn't been paying attention, I probably wouldn't even have realized his discomfort.

''You don't remember?'' He asked me ''All those enemies on the woods chasing and attacking us?''

I searched my memories from the day before and quickly located the one he was talking about. I had been chasing after Kish through the trees back at home, trying to land a kick anywhere I could but not managing to get close enough. I had been furious with him then…but never in a million years would I have been able to leave that kind of injury on someone's body. I simply didn't have that kind of power, or the cruelness.

''I don't get it,'' I said, while I took remnants of his shirt I had brought with me, and improvised a bandage. I wasn't sure it was necessary but I wasn't taking chances with the only other English speaking person on that island.

''And I don't expect you to.''

''What do you mean?''

I stood up and went around him so I could adjust the weirdly looking bandage to his front. I tried not to think about the fact I was touching someone else's semi naked body that was definitely male and not my boyfriend.

Don't be so stupid, I told myself, and made him raise his arms so I could tie a knot somewhere around his left side.

''I mean, you don't know the whole story, but before I can tell you anything, I do expect something from you.''

And suddenly he took my wrist in a very Kish-like way of making me pay attention to his words, and I resisted the urge of pulling back, because I didn't want him to think he could have power over me. I didn't know what he ''expected'' from me, but whatever it was I sure as hell wasn't going to…

Probably sensing where my train of thought was going, he let go and quickly explained:

''All I ask from you is that you don't jump to conclusions before I can explain everything, so you don't end up with wrong information like before. It doesn't matter what you think it happened, I want you to listen to me until the end, and only then you will know why we are stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere, and why I'm back after so long. I'm going to tell you everything, Ichigo…whether we both can handle the truth or not.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was shorter than I thought but I promise next chapter will be a little longer and answer more questions! Hope you like it and thank you for leaving reviews, I really appreciate it!


	6. Chapter 6

We sat down with our backs to the ocean, and this time I did stare ahead to the jungle, because as interesting as Kish's explanation could probably be, I wasn't about to be surprised once again on the beach by random strangers who wanted to hurt me. I wouldn't be caught off guard again.

''It's alright,'' Kish said, when he noticed just how tensed I was ''I won't let anybody hurt you.''

I thanked him and actually felt a little better, but I couldn't help remembering all those times in the past he had stood aside as his comrades or his arsenal of chimera monsters hurt me, or worse, when he himself had been behind the attacks. In his defense, it had been a different time and he had been almost brainwashed by Deep Blue, but to me it wasn´t that long ago to just forget all about it.

 _Is he trying to right those wrongs?_ I asked myself, but I quickly decided it didn't matter if he was. Given our…special situation we had sort of decided on a truce, but we wouldn't share one forever. As soon as we went back home, everything would go back to normal, and hopefully I wouldn't have to wonder anything else about Kish every again.

Right now, though, my main concern was getting some answers.

''Okay, we are here now and I promised to listen to you, so you can start explaining.''

''Right to the chase, right?'' He asked with a small grin. ''Actually I need to explain to you a few things that happened before yesterday, so you can understand the whole story.''

It sounded like we would be there a while, and I kind of wanted to tell him to hurry up, but we actually had time to spare (being stranded on an island and all) and to be honest I was curious about him too. I had changed so much since I was that thirteen year old idealistic girl, and in all that time, he had probably changed a lot too, at least I hoped so.

How different would he be to that slightly sadistic and obsessed kid I had met over four years ago? Could he not be the actual bad guy for once? I knew I needed to see things from his perspective, at least a little if I wanted our shaky alliance to last a bit longer, so I sat more comfortably in the sand, and nodded so he would know I was listening.

''Well, I guess I should start from the moment our paths took different turns. You see, when we left Earth, Pai, Tart and I delivered the Mew Aqua to our people so it could be used to solve our planet's natural resource decay. This element was foreign to us, and we didn't know if it would actually work, but the three of us had seen miracles performed by it, and we were desperate enough to give it a try.''

He paused then, and stared ahead lost in thought for a few seconds. When he spoke again, it was with a soft voice, almost as if he was voicing his thoughts and not actually talking to me.

''Everything was so… ruined back then… the dryness of the land, the lack of water, the diseases slowly taking everyone away…even ourselves, we were empty shells only capable of surviving, barely even living anymore. That was no life.''

I waited for him to finish, or to continue at least, but he stayed quiet, staring ahead as if he could see into his past, into a time when he was burdened by his planet's inhospitable living conditions. Without realizing what I was doing, I touched his shoulder lightly, to remind him he wasn't there anymore, he wasn't in a land that was falling apart under his feet, or with people dying around him. He was in the present, he was with me.

''It must have been hard,'' Was all I could say ''Living like that.''

He didn't answer or nodded, only turned his head my way, and when his eyes found mine, I caught a small glimpse of all the pain a child could feel having to grow up in a cruel world, all of the suffering and scars it had probably left behind. I saw it all for a second, and it overwhelmed me, but just as fast he recovered, shook my hand from his shoulder, and masked his feelings behind a grin and a twinkle in his eyes.

''Careful how you touch me, Kitten, or I might get the wrong idea.''

For once I didn't feel like hitting him over the head, because I could tell just how fake that statement was. I knew the funny and naughty Kish, I had seen him many times when we were younger, and I knew he enjoyed riling me up…but this one was not him. This Kish was nowhere near close enough to the one I knew.

I felt like I should say something to him, because I always got the need to comfort someone who had told me something sad, but I couldn't find the right words, and he didn't ask for it either. Maybe I hadn't seen Kish in years, but I knew him enough to know he was a warrior to the bone, and damn hard for him to ask for comfort when he clearly wanted it, so neither of us said a thing. The weird fragile bubble in time we had created between us suddenly burst, and the moment slipped away.

''Anyway…our planet seemed unsalvageable back then, and that's why when I was…I guess ten human years I got dragged into the army…''

''Ten years old? Really?'' I stopped him to ask.

''Well, I wasn't really in any place to refuse,'' He clarified ''I was an orphan with no resources and the army offered food and water. All I had to do in return was to go to a faraway part of the universe and find something to help our cause somehow. That's when I was ordered to travel to Earth and found the Mew Aqua. After… everything you already know happened in the middle…''

''No, wait, there is something I don't know. How does Deep Blue fit into all this?''

He seemed surprised for a second.

''I…wasn't sure you wanted to know about that, because it's kind of like your boyfriend's dark past or whatever, but I'll tell you if you are interested.''

I nodded, because I had wanted to know about Deep Blue for a really long time, but it wasn't like I could just ask Masaya about it, considering he didn't remember a thing about that episode at all. Also, I didn't think he would like to be reminded about it either, but I could ask Kish to satisfy my curiosity.

''When did he appear to you? And how?'' I asked.

''Deep Blue came to us in our darkest time, when our kind was on the verge of extinction and with no hope of ever healing our planet. We were in desperate need of a leader, and he was looking for slaves to command, an army to create chaos at his disposal. He was…a bodiless being who whispered all the right things in our ears, the words of encouragement we needed to keep on fighting…and without realizing it, he had slowly began to change our way of thinking. It was him who led us to Earth and convinced all of us we were stronger than any human being, and more deserving of the land you were ruining year after year. He made us think we had no choice but to take by force what was ''rightfully ours'', and take better care of your land, as you never would. This whole…environmental speech made more sense when we all found out it was your boyfriend's creepy second personality behind it all.''

I didn't like the ''creepy second personality'' bit and I let him know with a glare, but I didn't really argue, because from what I remembered about Deep Blue, it had been a weird…monstrous thing left mostly unexplained. My theory though, was that somehow, Masaya had unconsciously created him.

He had always been a defender of nature, had never liked seeing people dirtying the planet, throwing garbage or contaminating the air, slowly destroying our planet with no other reason but the fact that big corporations made money in the destruction. Deep Blue had probably been a way for him to cope with the idea of having to live in a world that was dying by our very hands, a sort of imaginary friend who had gotten too powerful somehow. Maybe it had started as a thought in the beginning, a fantasy, but it had managed to reach reality and eventually it became too powerful to control. He had wanted to save Earth so badly, his soul or his brain, or something inside him had snapped at last and split his personality, accidentally creating a villain.

At least that was what I thought.

It was weird to think of Masaya as someone as ruthless and conniving as Deep Blue, and I hadn't wanted to believe it, even when the evidence had hit me in the face. When he lost his powers, we were both happy to forget all about it and move on, but I guess I was still curious about that part of him that was so different…so evil.

''Anyway, he is not important to the story now.'' Kish suddenly spoke, and I got dragged right back to the present. ''Our planet showed signs of improvement with the Mew Aqua almost immediately. Everything started growing again, our food supplies increased, and diseases were cured in a matter of weeks… everyone was so happy the celebrations lasted for months! Pai, Tart and I were even named national heroes, and suddenly we had everything we could have ever ask for: a healthy planet, insane amounts of money…and the possibility to start a family.''

My mind stopped at the mention of that particular sentence, and it took me a few seconds to actually understand its meaning.

''Excuse me!?'' I asked, raising my voice a little bit, ''You are married?''

He avoided my eyes again, and his cheeks actually blushed a little, as if he was embarrassed about the next part of the story. My jaw opened so wide it actually hurt.

''Not yet,'' He answered. ''I could be married already because I was old enough to settle down even back then…''

''Old enough to get married? Weren't you like thirteen?"

He stopped talking for a minute and seemed to be adding numbers in his head. From all the confessions I could have listened to today, this was the last one I could have ever thought of. I found astonishing that someone of roughly my age could be considering marriage life. I couldn't even picture it, and I had been in a relationship with Masaya for almost three years!

 _Forming a family…_ I thought to myself what that would be like, and I could hardly believe the scenario inside my head. I got a mental image of Kish taking a little kid just like him to school, or going to a regular human job with a briefcase and a tie, and I tried my hardest not to laugh because it was so not him. That life did not suit him at all.

''If you calculate in human years, maybe I was around that age or a little older perhaps,'' he answered finally, ''but we ciniclon tend to marry young, and anyway I had already played the hero and done my part to preserve our species, so I could have just settled down without anybody judging me.''

''So why didn't you?''

His eyes darted from mine again, and I wondered to myself when he had decided he couldn't look at me in the eyes anymore. There used to be a time when his stare had been as intense and scary as a volcano about to erupt, and had managed to make me anxious, much to his pleasure. However, these last two days I had only seen echoes to that stare, flashes of a memory left behind. He had shown me anger, sadness and honesty at different moments, but it had lacked the trace of that playful and slightly seductive personality I had known when I was younger. I wasn't even sure if that problematic kid had disappeared to make room for this teenager before me…or if he was suppressing his true personality for my sake.

My mind raced back to a moment from the day before, when he had appeared in front of me in the meadow, and looked me up and down in that…adult way while smiling with mischief. I wondered if that had been no more than a weak moment on his part, a glimpse of the old Kish only I had seen.

 _Who the hell cares?_ I told myself suddenly. He wasn't chasing after me to drag me to his stupid planet anymore, wasn't invading my personal space or stealing kisses, so I shouldn't be asking myself any questions, only enjoying the peace, right?

I was glad when Kish kept talking.

''I just…didn't find the right girl,'' he answered in a very vague way and then kept talking fast, ''but a few months ago, members of the court from a faraway planet came to us seeking to learn of the way we had pulled ourselves from the imminent destruction of our home.''

I tensed visibly and was about to speak, but he beat me to it:

''Of course, we didn't say a word about the Mew Aqua because it was our ultimate treasure, and we didn't want strangers going off to Earth causing chaos, so we mostly just came up with vague and unhelpful answers to their questions, and they ended going back to their planet empty-handed.''

I breathed out in relief. A second alien invasion from a whole new species over the same stupid thing was not what we needed right now. I was glad we had dodged that bullet.

_But then, what is the rest of the story?_

I learned it quickly enough.

''Before they left, though…'' Kish said with a small smile on his face, ''I met their princess, Saya, and I…asked her to spend the rest of her life with me.''

I stared in surprise, because I have never pictured Kish as the romantic type. Sadistic, obsessive or perverted, yeah definitely, never romantic, yet he had definitely sounded like that to me. Just a normal guy in love talking about his girlfriend.

Weird.

He had always been violent, intense and a smart ass…not a romantic lover-boy in the least. He had claimed to have been in love with me before, and he hadn't been this…calm and peaceful and sure of himself, only pissed off and possessive, so it was kind of hard not to be the slightest bit doubtful of his words.

''Ohh, so you are a prince now?''

A slight breeze picked up and I had to hold on to my skirt so it didn't lift itself from my legs. Kish loosened the ponytail on his hair, and started doing it back up again while he spoke.

''No, we are not married yet. The ceremony should have taken place a few days ago, but there were some mishaps.''

''Which are…?''

Now his stare finally found my own and his fingers stopped moving.

''She found out about you.''

I vaguely wondered to myself why my existence was of enough importance to stop an otherworldly wedding. For a minute, I thought he must have been kidding, but the seriousness in Kish's eyes was clear and it made me go a bit cold.

I suddenly felt my throat way too dry, and I swallowed a few times before I asked very carefully:

''Excuse me? Could you repeat that?''

Kish sat forward and winced when he changed positions. His stare didn't leave mine while he talked.

''Okay, this is the part where it gets a little complicated. See…Saya is a scientist at heart and she was curious to know about my time on Earth, so she started asking me about it non stop. Of course, I couldn't explain everything to her in the scientific and rational way she wanted, so I asked Pai for help, and he ended up lending her some of his notes from three years ago. He had eliminated all about the Mew Aqua before handing it to her, but had left in our investigations on the Mews…and especially a certain red-haired kitty-cat who I had an ''inappropriate and masochistic'' desire for.''

I could feel my jaw dropping to the ground.

''As you can imagine it, she didn't take it so well,'' he added, as if I needed clarification.

 _You think?!_ I wanted to yell, and had to fight the urge. Few times in my life I had heard such a stupid cause of a fight, and I was dead sure that idiotic accident had caused a major fight between them. He deserved it, of course, but somehow I could tell I was going to suffer from his mistake too.

 _What genius leaves a file on the person he used to be in love with and then shows it to his fiancé?_ An idiot, that's who.

''But you explained it to her, right?'' I asked firmly. ''You told her we were never together and we never will be, that she doesn't have anything to worry about, right?''

''Yes! Yes, I did, but that is not what worries her. She comes from a long line of warriors, she knows she can go up against you in a fight if necessary, so there is no competition as far as she is concerned.''

''Oh, well, that makes me feel so much better.''I glared at him, but he didn't seem to catch on the irony.

''I'm not going to lie, she was looking for ways to erase you completely from existence, but then she discovered your Mew DNA, and the extraordinary way your human side can fusion perfectly with your animal side. Her thirst for knowledge sort of blinded her, even her jealousy. At first I thought she would be content to investigate you and that would be it, but she sort of…became a little bit obsessed and when I lost track of her a few days ago I was worried she might come to your planet…in search of you.''

''So…what you are saying is that I have an angry alien woman looking to kill me because she is jealous?'' I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, so mad I was practically seeing all red.

''No! What I'm saying is that you have an angry alien woman looking to experiment on you because she wants to understand you…and yes, she is also jealous.''

I looked away then, not because I was ashamed but because I was so angry I could almost feel the fire I must have been shooting from my eyes…right at Kish. Suddenly, everything made much more sense. It wasn't like Kish's personal issues causing havoc in my life was anything new to me, I had lived and fought wars that were his in the past. The thing is, I had thought we were past that already. I thought I wouldn't have to deal with him and his stupid problems anymore, so it was incredibly frustrating to find myself needing to keep an eye on my back for his stupid psycho girlfriend.

_Unbelievable…_

''Ichigo,'' Kish called my name, but I ignored him, ''the reason I'm back on Earth is to stop her. You and your team saved our race from extinction, I owe you, and I would never let her hurt you.''

''So what's your plan then? To protect me until she gets bored and leaves?''

He was quiet then, and in his eyes I saw the truth: he didn't have a plan, no satisfying answer for me whatsoever. I stood up, and started pacing, more furious than I had ever been before. I kicked a few stones to the water, and murmured curses under my breath.

_Well, no wonder he has been acting nice to me the last few days. I have a death sentence over my head and it's all his damn fault!_

''So what are we doing in this damn island then?'' I asked him, finally turning to him. ''Are we going to stay here forever so she can't find me?''

''Of course not, arriving here was an unfortunate accident,'' he stood up, wincing in pain a little but ignoring it quickly, '' do you remember when we were fighting in Tokyo and a cloaked figure attacked us? I was hit with a special weapon in their possession and caused my body to go into shock. I must have tried to teleport out of there without having an actual destination in mind, and since I was holding on to you, you sort of came along too.''

I remembered that moment, but I had been so angry then, I had barely registered that cloaked figure who had appeared or even tried to attack us. All my attention had been centered on Kish, and not on that bright whip it had used to lash at his back. I guessed that is where his big wound on his back had come from, and I realized if he hadn't moved me out of the way and taken the blow for himself, I would have probably fared even worse.

So the bastard had saved me more than once in just two days. Strangely, that thought made me even angrier. I didn't like needing his help, least of all when this whole problem had his signature all over.

I was so tired of everything. I just wanted a normal life, a boyfriend I could see more than once a month, to be a decent student at school and go shopping with my friends instead of fighting to save the world. Why did I have to have a psychotic enemy behind my back? Why did I need an alien appearing in my life over and over? Kish considered he had done enough for his race, hadn't I done enough for mine?

I stopped pacing when his hands grabbed me by the arms, and I looked up at him. The cat inside me wanted to claw and kick him out of my personal space, but I held myself back. Only by a thread though.

''Ichigo, I told you the story wouldn't be what you wanted to hear, and I'm sorry…I really am. I know I wasn't an easy person to deal with during my time on Earth, and I never planned to come back to your home to make matters worse again. Believe me when I tell you I did not do this on purpose.''

I relaxed a little, softened by his apology and I was about to say something else, but he kept on talking.

''I have no ulterior motives for bringing you to this island, and I am not back to claim your heart. I am here to help keep you safe, and once all of this is over, you won't see me again. I promise.''

I looked into his eyes and his honesty was a little overwhelming. I wasn't used to an honest Kish. I was used to an annoying, obsessive, arrogant Kish, and the change was…nice. It was a relief. Even though I couldn't avoid the fact the mistake had been his from the start, I could see he was trying hard to make it right.

 _I guess I can try to work with that,_ I told myself.

I breathed deeply, throwing my head back and looking up at the sun bright and blinding in the sky. Out of the blue I thought about what I would do in such a nice day in Tokyo, and imagined myself walking in the park with Masaya, or going shopping with my friends. I wanted desperately to run to those images, to the people in my head smiling and having fun with not a care in the world. But those images were just pictures, pieces of paper ripping between my palms and I couldn't hold on to any of them. They disappeared quickly and cruelly, but I guessed I had needed the reminder somehow.

I needed to come to terms with my new life, even if it meant destroying those nice images.

I sighed and looked back to Kish's eyes.

''And this fantastic girlfriend of yours…when is she arriving to finish me off?''

''She kind of…already has,'' he answered and then smiled a little awkwardly, ''remember the cloaked figures? They are her guards, and the one who attacked me…that was Saya.''

_Of course she is._

She had been aiming that gun at me then, but with Kish's interference, she had ended up hurting him instead. Something told me that hurting her fiancé had probably had made her a little angrier with me, and wasn't that just perfect?


	7. Chapter 7

I started pacing again, because quietly sitting down while listening to Kish's story turned out to be harder than I had originally thought. I was angry, and part of me wanted to start yelling again, but I held myself back by trying to breathe a bunch of times and telling myself this was just an accident…an unfortunate accident that was slowly starting to get the best of me. At some point I had started to let my fingers roam through my hair in a nervous way, and I kind of guessed I had a bird's nest over my head right about now. Since I hadn't exactly packed for this ''trip'' though, I had no comb to disentangle the knots with.

 _I need a shower,_ I thought to myself, and I needed one badly, but I knew better than to start dreaming about things I was not going to get in my near future: like clean clothes or a toothbrush. I wasn't even going to think about fresh sheets and puffy mattresses because that would just make me aware of the pain in my neck from having slept on the ground.

It suddenly dawn on me that for an animal hybrid I was not getting along with Mother Nature very well. Guess I was more of a house cat than a wild one after all.

''So do you at least have some sort of idea of what to do?'' I asked him, suddenly stopping a few feet away from each other. ''Any thoughts on how you could keep your girlfriend away from me?''

''Well…I don't have exactly…anything yet…'' he answered with an apologetic smile but quickly added, ''but since we are here, we could take the time we have to figure out how to get out of this place.''

_So no plan at all. Great._

When I started pacing again I vaguely wondered if I wouldn't leave a hole in the sand with my feet, and then decided I didn't really care. If I actually ended up making a hole big enough to swallow me, I probably would just fall willingly inside, because it sure as hell would beat discussing strategies with Kish about his equally insane fiancée. But I guess trying to find a way out of the island was a topic I could distract myself with so I wouldn't find myself trying to murder my only partner for the time being.

I looked at my pendant between my fingers and not for the first time, wondered if it could have some sort of tracking system implanted. My guess was that it was entirely possible considering well…magic, and an existing GPS technology for cell-phones, but I wasn't sure if Shirogane or Akasaka had ever thought it would be a necessary feature to add. It certainly seemed necessary now.

However, even if there was a GPS or something like that, could it track us if we were too far away? Or if there was no signal around us? How long would it take for them to find us?

''Can't you just teleport us out of here?'' I asked, putting my pendant away.

''I can't teleport right now.''

Great, more good news.

''What?! Why?''

''Because of my wound,'' he answered while pointing with his thump to his back as if I needed a reminder of the injury I had just helped clean and cover up. ''I have to give my body time to heal from the shock of the weapon, or when I try to teleport, there is a chance it could go… bad.''

''How bad?'' I asked in suspicion, because his omission hadn't sounded more than just a slight inconvenience, ''I mean, what could happen?''

''Best case scenario we end up somewhere that is not our desired destination with a not so smooth ride,'' he answered ''worst case scenario we…get lost.''

''I don't think we could get more lost than this,'' I said while opening my arms and gesturing to the jungle at my back.

''Not that kind of lost, more like…being disintegrated across the universe...kind of lost.''

Okay, not what I was expecting.

"What does that suppose to mean?"

"I don´t actually know," he confessed, "It´s an uncommon experience and I personally have never experienced it firsthand. Ciniclon who go through it don´t exactly come back to tell the tale either."

I understood what the word "disintegrate" meant, but in a theoretical way, and not so much when I tried to apply the concept to my actual person. Would my body just…break apart in a million pieces? Would I feel pain? Would I be conscious, or was this a very unique way to suddenly die? I imagined the possibilities and shuddered. Maybe I didn't understand much about space travelling or whatever he did to move around, but ''disintegrating'' definitely did not sound pleasant, especially if people were unable to come back from the experience.

No matter how badly I wanted to get out of the island and have my stupid shower, I knew we couldn't risk taking a rash decision, especially not when the usually psycho alien was being careful and reasonable about it.

''Okay the teleportation is out for now," I reluctantly agreed, "How much time do you think you will need?''

Kish only shrugged and I had to stop myself in order not to shake him violently. How was he so damn calm?! I was about to erupt like a freaking volcano and he was just standing there without a freaking care in the world!

I think he noticed the murdering expression on my face because he quickly answered:

''It won't be more than one or two days, I'm sure. I'm already feeling much better and my wound isn't bleeding anymore, so that's good.''

He tried smiling at me with that devilish smile of his, but I wasn't falling for that, so I just rolled my eyes and was about to start pacing again, when I suddenly noticed we weren't alone.

I felt cold then, and a shiver went right through my spine when I saw people coming out of the jungle, directly towards us. They were dressed in leather and fur, with strange masks over their faces and ink on their skins. They were mixing well with their surrounding, making it difficult to figure out how many of them were actually there.

_2…4…6… damn, they are too many._

I backtracked a few steps, staring at those weapons in their hands and knowing full well they weren't about to offer us any help. We were probably threats to them, especially Kish with his undoubtedly alien appearance, and his display of inhuman strength from the night before must not have convinced them of our innocence. Whatever the case, those people seemed aggressive, and their violence was headed in our direction.

I crouched down in the sand, ready to do whatever it took so I wouldn't be caught again in a situation where my body froze instead of try to fight, when suddenly a hand took me by my shirt and dragged me backwards forcefully. I hit the ground and found myself staring at Kish's stiff and bandaged back.

''Kish, what are you doing?'' I asked while standing up.

I tried to go to his side, but he pushed me back again without taking his eyes away from the people in front of us, who appeared to be more than a dozen by now.

''Stay back,'' He said in a voice so cold, it actually made me shiver.

I was taken by surprise then, because I was well used to his mischievous side, his fun side, even his jealous and murderous side, because it was aspects of his personality he presented often, but the cold and ''don't-argue-with-me'' kind of attitude, was extremely different and new. He had never acted that way around me before and I wasn't sure how to react to that.

 _He is trying to protect me_ , I suddenly realized and despite I felt kind of flattered he would go to such lengths for me, I didn't want him to do so. I was a heroine, I had powers, I could fight, and I couldn't possibly stay back while he went ahead and got himself killed in a stupid chivalrous act.

I wasn´t too glad about taking the Mew Leader role again…but I wouldn't run from a fight if I knew I could help, even if I was scared. Thinking about how weak I had been the night before was not tempting enough to make me want to run away screaming. Instead it was making me angry, it was making me itch for a chance to defend myself.

 _I'm a Mew, damn it,_ I thought to myself, moving forward and standing next to Kish with my head held high, time to show it.

He went to say something to me, but I cut him off:

''I'm not going to let you fight alone, whether we like it or not, we are in this together.''

And suddenly, those people came running at full speed right at us, and there was nothing left to discuss. Kish roughly handed me the weapon he had made out of wood during the night, and moved forward first, using one of his daggers to stab the closest man to him. He fell to the ground, and I looked away so I wouldn't see the blood.

Typically, every warrior knows not avert they eyes from the fight, but my instincts were a bit rusty and that split second of weakness almost cost me my head. When I looked again, two more men were almost over me and about to throw me to the ground. I jumped out of the way just in time, and in panic I threw the weapon Kish had given me, hitting one of them square in the chest, but not actually hurting him that much. I cursed and grabbed my pendant in my hand. To hell with not using my powers on humans, the man last night had not played fair, and now I wouldn't either.

''Mew Mew, Metamorphosis!''

Once again I was bathed by the familiar pink light, and a surge of immense power filled my body from head to toe. As I felt my usual ordinary clothes disappear and turn into my battle suit (if a dress and cute boots could be fit for battle) I couldn't help but feeling a little bit out of place again, nothing but a clumsy little kid in clothes that wouldn't fit, no matter how much I tried. This time, though, I knew my discomfort didn't come as much from feeling under confident about my abilities, rather than the idea of having to fight against a human for the first time. Aliens were one thing, one very different-than-me thing I could fight against, but humans…I wasn't sure I had it in me to hurt one of my own kind.

 _Even if they want you dead?_ A shiver went through my back, but I squared my shoulders and got into a fighting position. I wasn't sure I would be able to fight, or if my bell was even a strong enough weapon against my own kind…but I sure as hell was going to try to defend myself. None of them would come at me and scare me ever again.

Without further ado, I stepped forward, charging with all my might.

Immediately someone tried to hit me over the head with a wooden stick, and I ducked, feeling glad that my reflexes were working just fine after I had slept. I hit the sand, stayed low on my knees for a fraction of a second and when the moment was just right, I pushed upwards and flung my elbow in my attacker's face. I was pretty sure I heard his nose break, but I didn't stick around to make sure because I was once again being targeted, this time by two or three very pissed off men.

Next thing I knew, I was fighting a lot more people that I could count, but surprisingly I handled it pretty well. The fight went on in a series of blurred images, mostly sand everywhere, sharp wooden sticks, arms and legs flying through the air to deliver heavy blows (which luckily I managed to avoid almost all of them), and Kish's worried face as he caught my eye from time to time. I tried to reassure him I was fine, or more than fine…I was awesome! I delivered heavy blows and avoided being stabbed by their weapons, and I was so fast they could hardly see me. For once, I wasn't feeling inadequate; I was feeling like a heroine again.

It was probably due to my overconfidence that I got a little bit reckless, a bit stupid on my part, because not long after, one of those stupid wooden sticks found my shoulder. It cut right through my skin and left a river of blood running down my dress.

I screamed in pain and grabbed my shoulder with my other hand, dropping to the floor on my knees and trying not to collapse completely.

''Ichigo!'' Kish yelled from what seemed like really far away. And he was far, all the way across the beach and surrounded by five or six other people all pointing their own weapons at him.

 _Get up, get up!_ I told myself, but I couldn't make my legs receive enough strength to listen to the commands from my brain. I looked up, and terrified I stared as the men started to surround me once again, slowly now, sure they had me where they wanted me and knowing I couldn't get away. I threw sand at them, and I tried moving backwards but I barely made any difference.

I was yelling internally at myself for having been so stupid as to stop my training all together years ago and making myself so weak now, when suddenly I felt my bell bumping into my left hand. I looked back from the corner of my eye and saw it was so near me I could grab it, even with my weakened arm. I wasn't sure it could do any real damage, but damn it was my best bet.

Quickly I threw myself on the sand completely, landing right on top of my bell, and rolled around until I was lying down on my back, with my most special weapon in my hands. I pointed it right at my attackers.

''Kish, get down!'' I yelled, and then I let my power flow until it broke over the beach with a force I could not have stopped even if I had wanted it to. It was a force of nature, something as powerful as an earthquake and it made all the bodies on that beach (except Kish's and mine) fly through the air and hit the sand with a massive sound.

I was putting down my bell, ready to use it again if I had to, when suddenly there were a pair of arms around me lifting me up. I shook violently, trying to free myself until I recognized a pair of golden eyes calming me down. Kish started running immediately, and I let myself be carried away, while I was holding on to the wound on my shoulder and trying not to bleed all over us.

''Did I…hurt them?'' I asked him, and I tried looking over his shoulder but I couldn't see much given how fast we were going.

''Well, they fell down, but I doubt they were seriously injured. I don't think your power works much on humans anyway.''

 _Thank god,_ I thought and I breathed deeply for the first time since we got into the fight. During the attack the night before I had been so scared and angry I was pretty sure I could have been able to seriously hurt…maybe even kill another human, but now, confronted by the light of day I felt ashamed of myself. I was a Mew, a heroine, I couldn´t think that way, no matter how scared I could get.

Since we seemed to be getting away, I didn't want to waste more energy holding on to my Mew Form, so I let my battle uniform drift away. When my civilian clothes appeared once again over my body, I immediately felt more tired and I let all my body weight lie more heavily in Kish's arms without caring about the proximity. With my head over his shoulder I turned my neck to stare up at him, at the tense lines over his face and the focused expression in his eyes. I wondered vaguely if maybe he was hurt too, but he was running fast enough into the jungle to leave everybody behind, so at the very least he was better off than me.

Or at least I hoped so. I knew him enough to suspect he wouldn't tell me even if he was hurt. He was way too proud to even consider the possibility of showing any sort of weakness, too much of a warrior in his heart to care about trivial things such as flesh wounds.

He was a skilled fighter, I knew that, and he probably would have taken down everybody on that beach without breaking a sweat... if he hadn't been so distracted by me, if he hadn't been so worried about my own safety. It seemed I was the only one hurt, and I shouldn't have cared if he was distracted about my wellbeing or not, but then why was I feeling guilty?

_He is fine. He is Kish, he is always fine._

Suddenly we stopped moving, and Kish slowly lowered me to the ground, next to a small stream.

''What are we doing here? Shouldn't we get further away?'' I asked, and I tried getting up on my own, but Kish put a hand over my good shoulder and forced me to stay seated.

''We will. I just want to clean that wound first.''

''No, but I'm…''

I shut up before I could say I was fine, because the look he gave me could have melted glass.

''I won't discuss this with you, Ichigo. Your body does not heal as easily as mine, and if you get an infection there is very little I can do to help you, so just let me help you now at least.''

I would have argued, but I could see his reasoning below the fire in his eyes, and I murmured an agreement because it would probably be quicker to just comply. I sat up and moved my hair to the other side of my neck, so he could take a look at my shoulder.

Next thing I knew, Kish had sliced my shirt in half with one quick motion from his fingers, and my (very dirty) pink bra with little cupcakes drawn all over the fabric made a sudden appearance. His action had been so quick, my brain took a few seconds to recognize what had happened, which gave him enough time to remove the remains from my shirt and throw it to the ground between us. The knowledge that I was currently half naked in front of Kish, woke me up from my apparent slumber, and I slapped his cheek so hard my own hand hurt.

''Ouch! That hurts!'' He complained.

''You deserve it!''

As best as I could I grabbed my shirt and covered my chest. I was so embarrassed the earth could have opened up and swallowed me whole, but most of all, I was damn furious. I stared at Kish and considered whether to take out his skin or bite his head off. He didn't seem too put off by my threatening stare though.

''Can you stop being a child for a second so I can check your wound?'' He asked calmly, but with an undertone of annoyance I recognized very easily.

Without expecting an answer he tried to take my shirt away again, but I hissed and made him stay back.

''Touch me and you are dead,'' I said, and I meant it.

He rolled his eyes, not threatened at all, but at least he didn't get close to me again. He got up and went to the stream, where he lowered himself to his knees and drank water for a few seconds. I stared at him from my position and realized how extremely thirsty I was too, but I wasn't about to move and risk my shirt falling off again.

_Stupid Kish._

''Listen, we don't have much time'' He said then, and his tone was so calm and logical I wanted to scream, ''we need to wash that wound on your shoulder, and you need to drink water before you start becoming weak. Those people we left on the beach are probably after us right now and we are not strong enough to take them again.''

He was right of course, but I didn't want him to be. Since when was I living in a world where Kish made sense and was a rational being capable of making smart decisions? Had the world changed and nobody had let me know? I wanted to contradict him, just so I could fight him, but I was exhausted and hurt, and sort of worried because I didn't know anything about first aid, and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I needed him now way more than he needed me. So I gave up.

''Fine…but you didn't have to rip the only shirt I have here,'' I said, and I didn't take off the mangled pieces of fabric from my chest, but I sort of moved them out of the way so he could check my shoulder without something in the way.

''I'll get you something else.'' He agreed.

I shivered when the coldness of his fingers touched my overheated skin, and he stopped right away.

''Does it hurt?"

I shook my head and held on to my tattered shirt more tightly. He touched me a little bit more, always careful not to accidentally cause me pain, and didn't say anything for a while he assessed my current state. A few moments later, I felt him get up and a little bit of water from the stream was poured from his hands to my shoulder to clean the blood. I guessed as medicine goes, water couldn't be so effective, but it was all we had and I hoped it was enough.

''I need this,'' he said, pointing his finger to the shirt on my hands.

I wanted to argue again, I had an insult in the tip of my tongue, but he had seen me already anyway, and I just wanted to get out of there so we could find a place to hide, so I gave him the shirt and ignored the surge of embarrassment that went through me, especially when he started to bandage me with it.

''I think it's just a flesh wound,'' he said while finishing up ''you'll live.''

He got up and gave me his hand to help me up. I battered it away.

''You expect me to run around the jungle like this?''

I half expected him to get overly serious again, showing me that dark stare so new to me but so quickly becoming familiar, but he merely…smiled. That mischievous little smile that made his eyes shine with sin and his fangs to look slightly sharper than usual, like a vampire from an old movie. It was a sort of smile I had seen way too many times, and it was disconcerting because it didn't make him seem like an alien, more like a normal human guy with a mysterious aura to him. A smile I hadn't seen since we had landed on the island, and I found myself staring right back at him.

''What´s the problem? I think you look sexy like that.'' he said, and the bastard winked at me.

I stood up so fast I got dizzy but I didn't care because I was going to kill him and it would be worth it. But Kish moved even faster than me, and was out of the way before I could reach him. I saw him over a tree and I heard his laugh.

Realizing I was never going to catch him in my current condition, I changed directions and went to the stream instead where I very angrily started drinking water. I wanted to tune out his voice, but obviously it was too much to ask.

''Do you need help moving around, kitten?'' he asked in a mocking voice, ''I could carry you again if you like…''

Yes, I was definitely going to kill him.


	8. Chapter 8

''I'll come back as soon as I can, hopefully with some food'' Kish said to me right before he walked out to the heart of the jungle once again.

I watched him leave without saying anything in return, and wasn't sure whether I wanted him to hurry back or not. Truth be told, the last two days were quickly becoming among the weirdest ones I had ever had in my life, and that is counting many days I had to fight against weird-looking chimera monsters.

I was currently sitting alone in a dark cave on an island who knew where, wearing a mini skirt, a very worn out bra and shoes unfit for walking around the jungle for the amount of hours we had spent walking. Luckily we had somehow managed to stumble upon a dusty and smelly cave, which we had decided to use as hideout for the time being, but it was creepy as hell, and not as safe of a place as we would like it to be. I was cold, I was hungry and I was hurting, but most of all I was confused because I didn't know how to freaking behave next to Kish anymore. Could I really trust the guy who, since the very first moment we met, had worked relentlessly towards two very specific goals: kidnapping me and taking over the planet? Was I being unfair for not believing someone could change their ways after so many years? Or in the end I would be the stupid girl falling right into his trap?

Part of me knew I should be focusing on getting the hell out of this island, but that meant trusting Kish, at least a little, and I wasn´t so excited about the idea yet. Sure, he had saved my life in battle (more than once actually), but how could I be sure about everything else that came out of his mouth? How could I know he had my best interest at heart, and not just his own?

 _We are not even a good team!_

We had fought way too much in the last two days to ever hope to develop an actual solid relationship as partners. It even seemed we were taking turns to get mad at each other for stupid stuff, or give the other the silent treatment because arguing all the time was getting old pretty quickly. If asked, I would say it was still my turn to be mad because I still hadn't quite gotten over the fact that all this mess was his stupid fault. And also, he had torn my shirt.

However, I knew I couldn't hold on to my anger forever considering we were supposed to be allies, and we needed each other to survive until we figured out a way out of this place, right?

Right.

Plus, he had made sure to get me out of the fight safe and sound.

 _Well, not exactly without a scratch_ , I told myself while checking my shoulder again and still being amazed to see remains of my torn shirt covered in the red (which used to be pink) fabric. Although I couldn't really complain about it because getting hurt had been entirely my fault. I alone had sent myself flying into the lion's den, and it had only proven just how out of the game I truly was. If I was going to have a crazy angry alien girl breathing down my neck, I needed to start training. Fast.

I looked out the cave and when a breeze came rolling through I shivered in response. I hugged myself tightly, trying to find heat were there wasn't any. At least the sun hadn't set in yet, I knew at night it would get so cold I would freeze. I just hoped by then Kish made good of his promise and found me something to wear to replace my clothes. He had also said he would try to find food, and my stomach kept reminding just how much I needed it more than the clothes. With all the crazy stuff that had happened, I hadn't realized my last meal had been a piece of cake I had eaten at the café the day before around the afternoon. Needless to say, now that I was alone with my thoughts, the hunger came in full force.

 _I wish I wasn't hurt_ , I thought, staring angrily again at my shoulder, _or I could have gotten food myself._

I had wanted to go with Kish to find supplies, but considering how weak my current state was, he had thought it best that I rest up, while he went out to do all the work by himself, like a big classic stupid alpha male from a crappy movie. Stupid arrogant alien (who was right, but I wasn't about to admit it).

How had we ended up like this all of a sudden? It seemed weeks had passed since I had been at the coffee shop cleaning the floor, trying to coerce Mint into working, and getting angry at her for not helping around…when in fact it had only been a mere day ago. It was ironic, because then I had wanted to get out of there as fast as I could to go do something more fun, and now I just wanted to go back to that moment again and prevent Masha from ever picking up an alien signal. I wanted to go back to normal.

I looked at the watch on my wrist, not because I had any type of hurry to get somewhere, but I liked the idea of knowing what time it was, in Tokyo at least. It made me feel like I hadn't disappeared from the world altogether.

According to my watch we had roughly been on the island for over 24 hours, and we were still nowhere near finding a way of getting away from here. Sure, we knew we had Kish's teleporting ability, but he couldn't use it yet (thanks to his fiancé) until he healed, and he wasn't sure how long that would take. Other than that we didn't really have another solution, but I vaguely wondered if Kish was even trying to get us back to civilization or if his attention was solely focused on how to get me out of even more clothes. I wouldn't put it past him and I wasn't really buying the ''I-have-a-girlfriend-now'' act, especially considering how incredibly violent she seemed to be.

But then again…maybe that was why he liked her.

He had assured me he didn't see me in a romantic (or more like obsessive and psychotic) way anymore and it was kind of a relief really…but at the same it made me a little bit suspicious. I wasn't used to not watching my back around Kish, wasn't used to not setting boundaries when it came to him…wasn't used to trusting him. Did I even have it in me to lower my guard around him? What would it happen if I started to trust him? It made me feel…weird to think about it.

 _He is just different now_ , I tried telling myself, you don't expect a stalker to change his mind all of a sudden. He had thrown me off obviously, and now I wasn't sure how to act around him.

A noise outside of the cave made me jump, and before I knew it, I was crouching in a defensive position on the ground.

''You look so cute when you are ready for combat.'' Kish said in his usual joking manner.

I rolled my eyes and sat back on the ground again against the rock wall. I didn't even bother to cover up because my attempts clearly hadn't worked when we were running around in the jungle, and he had seen all there was to it by now.

''I wasn't going for the cute look,'' I explained while I watched him come inside and set on the ground some types of fruits, fishes, and other things I couldn't recognize.

''Well, I guess it's kind of hard to look badass when you are wearing little cupcakes imprinted on your clothes.'' he said and laughed while I blushed and hoped I had something I could throw at him. ''I got you this.''

Something soft landed on my lap and I realized it was big enough to cover most of my body. I raised it up so I could put it around my shoulders when I suddenly realized what it was and I froze.

''This is fur,'' I said in disgust, throwing it to the ground beside me.

I wasn't a radical animal activist, but wearing fur when there were so many different fabric alternatives in the world to wear nowadays was something that made me really angry, and it went against everything that meant being a Mew.

''I know,'' he said to me from the other end of the cave, ''I'm sorry about that, but we don't have anything else we can use. If it makes you feel any better, I found that one and a few others in one of their camps so the damage was already done. You should use it if you don't intend to freeze to death.''

I stared at the dead thing next to me and sighed, because of course, he was right. Again. Slowly I took the fur, and apologizing to whatever animal had had to die for me not to be cold, I put it around my shoulders and tried my best not to gag. I felt guilty of how immediately warmer I felt.

I raised my gaze and found Kish trying to start a fire all the way to the back of the cave, so it wouldn't be visible from the outside. It took him a while but I watched him work, and as soon as he had succeeded I got closer so I could warm up a little more.

''I didn't know you had boy-scout skills.''

He turned to look at me, I think a little surprised about my sudden attempt to make small talk and I couldn't blame him. Truth be told, I wasn't sure why I wasn't as far away from him as I could get, since my experience told me it was usually the best place to be when it came to Kish. But maybe I was bored, lonely or even curious about the being next to me, who I had trusted enough today to fight alongside with.

For whatever reason, I found myself wanting to at least talk a little to pass the time. Since we still had to wait until his wound healed enough so he could teleport us out, we didn't really have much to do aside from hiding and trying to survive. So a talk couldn't really hurt us, right?

It seemed he got to the same conclusion.

''Well, part of my training in the army involved researching different ways to survive in inhospitable environments,'' he said while starting to roast a few of the fishes he had probably stole from our enemies' camp as well, ''I also know how to hunt and follow a track.''

 _Wow…and I only know how to get food delivered at my place when I get hungry_ , but I didn't tell him that because it sounded pathetic even in the comfort of my own mind.

''Impressive.'' I said instead, and then I didn't know what else to say.

The silence settled once again between us and I racked my brain for normal, safe and unimportant subjects we could discuss, but it seemed I couldn't come up with anything.

I realized I didn't know how to have a normal conversation with him, not when he was acting like such a stranger to me now. We had never been friends, but at least I had known how to treat him in the past. Now it seemed I needed a set of flashcards to keep a conversation going, as long as I avoided the many personal questions I really wanted to ask since that revealing conversation at the beach earlier. There were things I still wanted to know about him, but I kept my lips shut.

''Go ahead,'' he said suddenly.

I jumped a little, and I wondered vaguely if he had read my mind.

''What?'' I asked a little suspicious.

''It seemed you wanted to ask me something.''

''Well…yeah, I want to.''

And then I closed my mouth again. He waited for me to continue but I made my best effort to pretend to be very interested in the roasting fish over the fire. He seemed to be as bored or as uncomfortable as I was, though, because he insisted again and I was already so curious that I threw my good judgment out the window and asked:

''I was wondering…what is Saya like?''

_Of all the things I could have asked an alien, and I decide I want to know about his girlfriend…_

He seemed surprised as well, and looked at me with a little suspicion in his eyes before focusing on the fish again. He had probably expected any other type of question in the universe, but he answered me nonetheless.

''She is strong,'' he said, and a small smile touched his lips, almost invisible if I hadn't been close enough to see it, ''never lets anybody make a decision for her, she is independent despite what is expected of her as part of her royal family…she knows exactly what she wants out of her life, and she seeks it with fiery passion…she is not exactly warm but she is affectionate and loyal like no one I've ever met before…''

While staring at the crackling fire, he seemed to get lost somewhere inside his mind.

 _Probably lost in memories of her_ , I told myself and again it was weird to realize I wasn't the subject of Kish's devotion anymore. It made me wonder if he had ever looked as lost in thought like that while thinking of me. I suddenly felt an urging need to fill the silence.

''She sounds…like a badass.''

At the sound of my voice Kish seemed to wake up and return to reality once again. He stared at me as if he had forgotten I was even there, and then went back to staring at the fire.

''Yeah, she is…I don't know if any of this answers your question…''

I guess it did, but far from understanding her, it only raised even more questions. He had described her as being ''strong, passionate and independent'' which were positive characteristics when describing a person, but did he really not have anything bad to say about the person currently trying to kill me? How could we be talking about the same girl?

''Ichigo, I can almost see the thoughts going around in your head.''

I raised my gaze from the fire (which I didn't realize I had started staring at) and looked back up at him. He was still staring at me with curiosity, but now he was also offering me a piece of roasted fish impaled on a branch. Clearly not exactly what my stomach had been expecting to receive, but at least it was food, and I desperately needed to get my strength back.

I grabbed one end of the branch like one would hold a stick with a marshamellow, and took a bite without thinking of its taste in my mouth. I didn't like the road our conversation would take, but I also knew myself enough to be sure I wouldn't stop now that I had started down this path.

''I guess I just wanted to know more about the person who wants to kill me...''

 _And the guy who could be with her regardless of her nature_ , I added in my head, but I didn't say so aloud.

''I told you, she doesn't want to kill you, she wants to understand you…in her own way.''

I frowned and took another bite out of my fish, this time a bit more angrily. How could he be okay with her actions? Was he supportive of her little ''project'' while at the same time tried to save my life? It sounded like complete opposite attitudes to me, and yet he seemed calm about it, like he accepted the situation as bizarre as it was, to be perfectly logical. Well I certainly didn't get it.

I didn't know Saya personally (and if I had it my way I never would) but it seemed to me she wouldn't just be content with ''studying'' me, when her need was born from her jealousy towards Kish's old feelings for me (which I didn't have any control over, but obviously she didn't care about that at all). The fact that I didn't know enough about her actually made her more dangerous to me, because I didn't know what she was capable of.

I didn't know what Kish was capable of either.

''And you can accept that?'' I asked in an angry whisper.

Suddenly I realized just how much his answer scared me. I could understand Saya attacking me for whatever stupid reason she came up with, because as a Mew I could see her as humanity's enemy and fight her right back. However, Kish making up excuses for her, trying to explain to me how ''normal'' this was maybe for their stupid alien culture…it disgusted me. It scared me, and I didn't know why I was having a harder time accepting he might just be okay with her efforts to take me down.

But then why come back to protect me?

''Of course I don't accept that! That's why trying to keep you safe.'' he said as if it was the most obvious statement in the world.

''Then why are you with her?!'' I yelled, surprising us both.

Silence again, but this time not only uncomfortable, also loaded with unsaid words. I wanted to avoid his shocked stare, but I couldn't find it in me to drop the subject or pretend I hadn't said…something so very weird. Why had I said that?

I guess Kish wanted to know too, because he roughly grabbed me by the wrist and looked straight into my eyes.

''You want to know why, Ichigo? Because she accepts me exactly as I am.''

 _Like I will never do, right?_ I asked inside my head. The thought came so out of nowhere and I didn't know what to do with it, so of course I freaked, and hid it as deep inside my head as I could hide it.

I turned my gaze the other way, and decided I wanted to drop the subject. I wasn't sure of what I was saying, of what my mouth was about to say next, but one thing I knew for sure is whatever it was, I didn't want to share it with Kish. It was dangerous, and it wouldn't do us any good, so I tried changing the subject, but Kish wasn't ready to let it go.

''Look,'' he said, with a tone much calmer and controlled than mine had been, ''I don't agree with Saya's actions and I plan to stop her from hurting you…but it doesn't change my relationship with her.''

''How could it not?'' I found myself asking, and then I bit my tongue to shut up.

''I know it's hard to understand, but we come from very different cultures. Saya shares animal DNA as well as you, only her species struggle with their biology much more than you or any other Mew ever did. Sometimes she gets carried away by strong emotion that lead her to irrational decision making, and her basic instincts are heightened to the point that it's impossible for her to ignore them. Hunger, fear, passion, the need to protect someone or something…sometimes it's so strong it overrides anything else. She is not an evil person, she just…has a hard time controlling her urges, like I did before.''

 _And he thinks he can help her_ , I suspected.

I could remember many, many times, Kish had acted upon impulses in order to get whatever it was he desired, without caring who he hurt or what he destroyed in the process. Maybe his and Saya's culture was a lot more different to mine than I had first thought, maybe for them this whole crazy situation was absolutely normal. But for me it wasn't, and I hadn't asked for it either, so I could hardly understand her reasoning. It was a surprise to find out I shared something in common with my enemy, but if Kish thought the knowledge would butter me up to her, he was dead wrong. I didn't say anything, but by my body language alone he could see I was not softening even the slightest bit by his words, so he let go of my wrist and threw his hands in the air in frustration.

''What do you want from me, Ichigo? I'm here to help you and I don't have any sort of devious hidden plan to snatch you away. What is your problem if I still expect to be with Saya after all of this is over? Or do you expect me to leave her?''

''I don't care what you do, I just want to know…''

''Why I'm with someone you don't agree with?'' he cut me off, and his eyes seemed to be mocking me as he spoke, ''this may come as a surprise for you…but it's not your damn problem.''

He was right of course, I was meddling into affairs that weren't my own, and he hadn't asked for my opinion; I had simply thrown it at him, like I had any right to do so. We were nothing but temporary allies for obvious reasons. There was no trust between us, no friendship, no actual contract. This, whatever it was we had built earlier that day could so easily break apart if we weren't careful around the other. So why the hell was I still going around the same subject?

_Because I want him to be her enemy._

I didn't know why, but I knew it was true. If he was going to be fighting by my side, then I wanted to trust him, and not wonder all the time if he was passing on information to his bride. I expected him to be as angry with her as I was.

I knew I should have left the conversation die right then and there. He had stopped talking and started to eat one of the fishes over the fire. I could have let the matter slide, and gone to sleep, or simply talk about something else, something neutral and not as controversial. But of course I was hotheaded, and I hated not having the last word, so like an idiot, I ended up saying:

''Fine, it's not my problem…but I don't know what you see in her anyway…''

Suddenly the air around us turned heavy and grim, and I knew another argument was on its way.

''So what if you can't comprehend my relationship? I can't understand yours and I don't go around giving my opinion.''

''What is there to understand about my relationship? Masaya is just a normal high school boy who is in love with me.''

''My point exactly'' he said, and he crossed his arms as if he had just won the argument somehow.

I just stared at him in confusion, and waited for him to continue his clearly stupid and irrational line of thought.

''You said it yourself: he is just a normal high school boy…nothing but a human, Ichigo.''

''Yeah…so?''

''And that's enough for you?''

''Of course it is!''

I didn't understand at all where he was getting at. My boyfriend was human, obviously, we both knew that, and it was not a surprise at all. So why was Kish looking at me as if I was too stupid to understand a very simple reasoning?

Kish grabbed an apple from the little pile he had made on the floor, and started throwing it up in the air while looking at me. The expression on his face was indecisive; as if he was holding some piece of information he wasn't sure about sharing with me. Thankfully, Kish was too chatty to keep quiet.

''Isn't it…strange to be with a human?'' he asked quietly, a little arrogantly.

''Why would it be weird? We are both humans.''

The expression on his face clearly stated that he didn't truly believe me, and I wondered what was so complicated about my statement. He immediately continued talking, though:

''I mean, isn't it weird to be with someone so much…weaker than you?

''He isn't…''

''You have such an amazing power and an equally powerful responsibility bigger than he can ever hope to get, and you mean to tell me your relationship isn't a little bit…unbalanced?''

I opened my mouth to answer him, to prove him wrong, when I suddenly realized…I didn't know what to say in response. In a very crude, rude and stupid way, Kish was kind of…right.

 _But that doesn't mean my relationship with Masaya is somehow wrong!_ Maybe he didn't have the sort of powers I possessed, but that didn't mean he was hopeless or less valuable to me. He was just as important and interesting as if he were the most powerful being on Earth. And certainly, my all too sweet, completely human and caring boyfriend shouldn't have to be compared to an obsessive alien woman who didn't even know me!

And why was I getting worked up about something Kish said anyway?

''It's not,'' I said through gritted teeth, because he had made me mad about his stupid comparison, even if it was just out of spite, ''my relationship is not unbalanced.''

''Well, I think it is. I think you are wasting your time being with someone who can't possibly understand what you go through every day, and share the responsibility over your shoulders. You probably have to hide a side of who you are, and be careful around him…but then again, I don't go around giving my opinion when nobody asked me.''

After his little speech, he sat back against the cave wall and finally ate his stupid apple, while I gaped at him. Without knowing what to do, I stood up, and my shoulder ached, but I ignored the pain because I was way past mad now. I was furious.

I walked all the way to the other side of the cave and sat down with my back to him, like a little kid who was put on time out. I certainly felt like one. Okay he had proved to me it was annoying when others meddled into one's personal affairs, and even more so when they got part of things right. I got it, but it didn´t make me any less angry.

''You are impossible and nothing you said was true,'' I barked ''and Masaya wouldn't hurt a fly, but I can't say the same about your dear psychotic Saya.''

"She is not psychotic, and even if she was, it's still not your problem, Ichigo. As soon as I convince Saya to drop her plan and go away, you stop being involved in this situation. You and I are not friends, you hate me from what I heard, and we have no right to intervene in each other´s relationships. Let me handle Saya, and you just worry about yourself."

After answering me, silence was once again settled among us, but this time it wasn´t awkward, it was pure rage just waiting for a spark to light up the whole damn cavern. I knew Kish was as stubborn as I was (maybe even more) and if neither of us was going to be mature enough to drop the subject, then we would be fighting all night. So I shut up, and thankfully he did too.

Minutes passed, and I became aware of the piercing coldness, despite the fur over my shoulders. I put my arms around myself and looked at the entrance of the cave, imagining walking right out and back to Tokyo, back to civilization and showers, and mattresses and…

 _Don't go there,_ I reminded myself.

When I looked behind me, I noticed Kish was staring at the entrance of the cave too, a need in his eyes to run away almost as fiery as mine was. I guessed he couldn´t wait to be rid of me, and why wouldn´t he? After all the mean and cruel stuff I had said to him, I wouldn't want to be around me either.

I breathed in, and after a few seconds I breathed out.

"I don´t hate you." I said in the dark.

There was no answer. Maybe he was still mad at me, and was not interested in listening to anything I had to say anymore. The truth is, I was mad too, but I wanted to try and make things right, even if it was just to end this stupid fight.

"I want you to know I don´t hate you," I said a bit louder. "What I said on the beach was out of spite and…fear, and I guess I want you to know I didn´t really mean it. I´m sorry."

It surprised me how honest I was being. Part of me had kind of thought I hated Kish, but maybe that wasn´t exactly right. Sure, he made me as angry as a rabid dog, and he annoyed me more times than I could count, but hate? I didn´t think I had it in me to hate someone who was working so hard to keep me safe, and for some reason it was important for me that he knew that.

I risked another look over my shoulder, and this time, Kish wasn´t longingly watching the only way out of the cave. He was looking at me, and despite the frown on his face, I could tell he had softened up a little. I didn´t need his forgiveness, but it felt kind of nice to get off my chest something that had been nagging me.

"Come here already," he said finally, "you must be cold."

Slowly I got up and made my way towards the fire again, thanking silently for the heat it brought me instantly. I didn´t realize I had been shivering.

"So, I take it you won´t kick me back to my planet as soon as I turn around?" he asked while passing me another apple.

I grabbed it and took a bite, relishing in the sweet taste to get rid of the burned fish out of my mouth.

"Honestly, you saved my life way too many times in the last two days to keep threatening you like that. Don´t get me wrong, I still think you are an arrogant bastard…but I'm glad you have my back."

He smiled then, and despite the fact he had become much taller and gained more muscles over the years, I somehow saw the little boy I was so used to seeing three years ago. I had always secretly thought Kish had an interesting smile, like he knew a secret others weren´t aware of, and it was a bit nostalgic to see him like that again.

Because I was watching him, I didn´t miss his yawn, and suddenly I realized just how tired he must have been. Since we had landed on the island, he had not rested even once (not counting the time when he had passed out from the pain) and had even stood watch while I slept.

"You should rest for a few hours, I'll stand watch." I told him as I finished my fruit. I decided I was already dirty enough and wiped my hands in the fur around my shoulders.

"No, I can stay up for a bit longer, you should rest instead."

Without taking his advice I stood up and changed places to a location better suited to observe the entrance of the cave, but still being close enough to the fire not the cold again. Anyone who came in, I would have enough time to see him, her or it, to prepare myself and Kish for battle.

"You have done enough for me," I answered and I crossed my arms over my chest in a it´s-my-final-call resolution. "We can take turns, and now it's yours."

Kish opened his mouth again, but I cut him off:

"Go to sleep right now, or I'm going to hit you over the head and leave you unconscious again, you were more docile then."

It looked to me he was planning to keep arguing, but stopped to yawn and then he just gave up. He was probably even more tired than what his eye bags showed, and I was glad for once we could reach an agreement without a fight. Kish laid down on the ground next to the fire, and I saw the flames dancing across his yellow eyes right before he closed them.

I thought he had fallen asleep instantly, but then he opened his eyes for a second.

"Wake me up if anything happens," he all but commanded me, "don´t try to deal with a new problem yourself."

I was tempted to answer I could handle any situation that could arise, but the way he as looking at me so intently made me reconsider. I got the feeling he wouldn´t sleep a wink knowing I was planning to recklessly throw myself in front of a stupidly dangerous situation again, and it was strange knowing Kish could care this much.

_It's strange being with him at all._

I was used to relying on my team for my survival, on my five awesome, strong and trustwhorthy best friends who were able to handle any type of situation with me…but they weren´t here right now. They weren´t here to help me, or even to talk to me, only Kish was. i just hoped he was enough.

"Okay," I assured him, "If anything goes wrong, I'll wake you, just sleep…you stupid alien."

He laughed quietly, and a second later his body relaxed completely over the hard ground, as if he was in the softest most comfortable bed. I even heard him snore lightly.

 _Such a control freak,_ I told him inside my own mind. I grabbed a new piece of fur he had brought from his journey around the jungle and I covered him with it. Asleep he looked more helpless than ever, and I realized I had never seen him like that. Reminding myself I was in charge of our security, I dragged my eyes from Kish´s sleeping form, and watched the entrance of the cave instead.


	9. Chapter 9

I was drowning.

I didn´t know where, or how, or why, I just knew I was drowning on a boiling hot sea with waves crashing all around me, trying to take me under.

I was suffocating.

I was sinking.

I was dying...

Or maybe it was all just a trick from my mind, a cruel joke I wanted no part of, but it somehow felt real enough. My body was drenched from head to toe, my mind foggy and my limbs tired as if i had been swimming for too long. I couldn´t even seem to draw air into my lungs no matter how hard I tried, and only in the brief moments in which I could somehow reach the surface, was I able to gather enough breath before being pulled under by the waves once again, watching the world swim around and leaving me behind to die. But by far the worst feeling was the heat, that horrible, immense and suffocating heat! I felt like I was being burned alive by a furnace inside my body, and I couldn´t seem to shut it off. It was unbearable, uncomfortable and scary, because no one was there to help me. No one was there at all.

Fragmented thoughts I couldn´t even begin to understand started going through my head, filling my mind with painful shrieks. I tried to make sense of them, to understand the words or the meaning behind that fear, but I wasn´t able to focus on a single thought for long before I was overwhelmed by a new one.

_...away..._

_...out..._

_...help..._

_...gone..._

Cool tears slid down my overheated cheek, and I could feel a knot tying itself painfully around my guts like a vice. I tried to figure out a reason as to why I could have ended up wherever I was, but with no luck. My mind was split at the seams, screaming defenseless against attacks all around me and anywhere at the same time. I was useless, helpless, and so, so very scared. More scared than I had ever been before, because I was sure about my fate. I could see it bright as day in my panic-filled mind.

Drowned. I would be drowned.

 _No!_ I yelled inside my mind, and the scream filled my ears, bouncing all around the inside of my skull. I wasn´t ready to die! Not now, not this way. If I was all alone, I needed to find a way to help myself,to get air, to get out of the burning water...before it was too late.

A new wave threatened to pull me under, but I was ready for its attack, and instead of laying still, I tried to move my body along with its force. Suddenly I felt like I was falling, and I was afraid the sea might actually be endless, but a second later I landed on a hard surface. I bumped my arm with the fall and strangely, it gave me a moment of clarity, just enough so I could see my surroundings.

I hadn´t been floating in the bottom of a dark sea, after all, merely staring at the ceiling of a very dark cave, and a few feet away from me I could see a brilliant orange light.

 _Fire…_ So I wasn´t underwater for sure, but where was I then?

I stared into the flames, transfixed by the colors, the strange shapes resembling many things at once, and yet nothing at all, and right behind them I could see the shape of a person laid down on the ground. Too close, and yet too far away for me to reach. I needed to get to him, I needed to tell him I was drowning.

"Help" I said, in what I had hoped would be a scream, but it turned out to be nothing more than a whisper.

I somehow knew if I could just get to him I would be okay. He would help me, he would heal me, he would save me from the heat and the water. So I tried again, because I needed him as much as I had ever needed anything in my life.

"Help" I said a bit louder.

He stirred a little, but didn´t wake, and I grew restless. My vision was getting dark again, and it wasn´t from the lack of light this time, I was losing consciousness, and soon I would fall under once again. I had enough strength in my body for one more attempt at trying to call to him, so I gathered all the breath I could into my lungs and opened my mouth to scream:

"Help!"

His eyes opened at last, and when he looked at me, recognition set in his eyes. Recognition and fear. I smiled through the mist inside my mind, and as he was scrambling to his feet trying to get to me, I blissfully fell asleep. I was saved.

* * *

I awoke ice cold and trembling all over. Every inch of me, from head to toe was covered in a painful ice coating I couldn´t seem to melt away. Maybe because it was somehow coming from inside of me.

_What's wrong with me?_

My mind felt sharper now, probably due to the cold, but apparently I wasn´t lucid enough to figure out why I was freezing to death, or even where I was. My attention was focused solely on the coldness of my bones and the various degrees of pain inside my body. Could I even escape my own skin if I tried?

"Ichigo."

I recognized my name uttered by a voice I couldn´t name, and I turned my neck towards it to try and see who it was, but either it was too dark all around me, or my eyes weren´t working right, because I couldn´t see much more than a figure kneeling by my side. His voice sounded familiar to me, thought, comforting even, like caramel or velvet, and kind enough to make me want to hear it again. I could tell the voice, whoever it belonged to, was terribly worried about something. Was it about me?

"Wh…wh…what´s…wr…wrong?" I asked, barely managing to utter an intelligible phrase out of my lips.

I felt awful, and not just because of the physical pain. My mind was blank and fuzzy and so unfocused it was scary to try to think. I couldn´t seem to focus on a single thought long enough for me to start answering some of the questions inside my head. Where was I? What had happened to me? Was I dying? Being laid down on the ground staring at the dark ceiling over my head was making nervous, so I moved to at least sit up, but my head felt so heavy over my shoulders it was like trying to move a sack of bricks, so I didn´t get very far.

"No, no, don´t do that. Lie back down." The voice said, and with a gentle touch he pushed me to the ground again.

I didn´t fight at all, mostly because I couldn´t find the strength to do so. As soon as my back hit the ground though, my shivering increased and I let out a whimper of pain.

_It hurts…_

I didn´t even know what was hurting exactly, all I knew is that it did. Badly. My body was screaming and all I could do was shiver and try to get a short sentence past my lips.

"It…s…co…co…cold" I managed to whisper.

The person beside me didn´t answer, merely raised his hand and stroked my hair soothingly, as if I was a child scared of a monster under my bed. It calmed down, and I didn´t even realize when I turned my cheek towards his hand, all I knew is that I needed more of that warmth against my freezing skin. It felt good to be taken care of, to be stroked like a cat, but it wasn´t enough to keep away the cold. I needed help, not comfort.

"Ma…make…it…st…sto…p…" I pleaded.

"I can´t," he answered guiltily, taking his hand back, "I´m sorry about that, but I will help you as best as I can."

I shook my head, because that was all I could do to communicate. My teeth were clashing against one another, and forming a coherent sentence was out of question. He didn´t understand me, he didn´t understand my pain, and how could he? I couldn´t even explain it to myself!

I took his hand in mine and put it back again on my cheek, willing for him to understand how much I needed his help. Wherever I was, I felt like I was floating, slowly slipping away into nothing, and all that was keeping me grounded was the touch of his warm skin to mine. I opened my mouth and started to speak in a rush, words morphing into unintelligible gibberish and probably not making any sense at all, but he seemed to understand anyway. At least I hoped he did.

"Shh, Ichigo," he said my name again, and it made me quiet down, "You´ll be okay."

In other circumstances, I might have believed him, god knew I desperately needed to, but something about his tone of voice made me shiver in a way that had little to do with the cold. He seemed unsure, worried or sad. Why was he sad for me if I was going to be okay?

_Unless I'm not…_

I first noticed the tears running down my cheeks and wetting his palm, before I filled the silence with uncontrollable sobs. Part of me wanted to stop, wanted to calm down and think rationally, wanted to be in control of my body and mind again, but my body wasn´t listening, because my skin was ice cold, my limbs were shaking, and in my mind I was nothing but a scared little girl crying in the dark. And the worst of all, I was alone. Even though there was someone there beside me, he didn´t understand how to help me or how to fix me, and the loneliness was too much for my heart.

I cried without a thought of how I would look, because I didn´t have the strength to care about anything else other than me right then.

"No, no, please don´t cry!" He pleaded in a pained voice, but didn´t he know he was asking already way too much of me?

Was he trying to comfort me? I wasn´t listening anymore, I was only crying.

Suddenly I felt a touch on my jaw, making me turn my head a little upwards and to the right. I couldn´t see past the darkness, but I felt his presence right there with me, and when he spoke next, his voice was much surer this time:

"You´ll be okay, Ichigo. I will help you."

I should have calmed down then, but I guess I was getting worse, because his statement only made me cry harder, until at some point I drifted to what I hoped was a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I spent the next few hours slipping into and out of consciousness, sometimes being stuck in a strange sea of dreams that made no sense to me, and other times waking up to a body wrapped either in ice or hot flames. I didn´t know which scenario was worse, I only wished everything would stop. It did, finally, but I wasn´t sure how many hours I had spent drifting between dreamland and the real world. I just hoped I never had to go through something like that ever again.

I woke up slowly, feeling more tired than I had ever felt before, but with a clear mind once and for all. I looked around and saw daylight spilling into a dark cave. Next to me there was a dying fire, and even though I couldn´t see anyone else beside me, enough memories about the last two days floated inside my mind to know Kish must be somewhere nearby.

I sat up weakly and with no hurry at all, and when the cave didn´t start to spin all around me I took that as a sign I had pulled through from whatever storm I had gotten myself into.

 _Must have been a fever,_ I thought.

My body wasn´t exactly weak, but the slash of a rusty knife to the shoulder (and not getting it treated immediately) probably had been pushing it a little far for my second day back on the field. I was feeling much better now, but I was pretty sure I wasn´t off the hook yet. Since I didn´t have access to any type of medication in this forgotten place, the fever would likely come back, and it would probably be even worse, so I needed to get myself proper medical attention, and for that I needed to get off this stupid island. ASAP.

Walking slowly and with a hand against the rock as support I made my way outside to relieve myself, looking everywhere first for signs of Kish or some other human or animal creature nearby. When I finished I went back inside and laid down on the ground, not even caring how uncomfortable it was on my back. I was about to drift to sleep again, when I heard rustling by the cave´s entrance.

I turned my neck to look at Kish walking inside with a handful of food in his hands. When he saw me awake, though, he dropped everything and kneeled by my side.

"Ichigo!" He almost yelled despite we were so close.

He grabbed me by the face gently and looked into my eyes as if he were searching for something. The usually calm Kish now seemed kind of scared, with his hair almost completely out of his ponytail, a rather sickly white on his usual pale skin and with bags under his eyes he wouldn´t be able to cover up even with the best make up in the world. He looked awful, like he had spent yet another night without sleeping a wink, which was probably the case.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded, because I couldn´t really find words in my head. I felt a little crowded lying on the ground looking at him, so I sat up again, and he pulled back a little. He seemed a little relieved now, but he hadn´t completely lost that worried expression on his face. I knew Kish could get protective of me, but I hadn't counted on him being this…desperate. It surprised me.

"I´m okay" I answered finally, "I think it was just a high fever."

" _Just_ a high fever?" he asked, opening his eyes a little wider and I could suddenly see a little bit of red in them, "You spent the entire night hallucinating and crying."

At first I was ready to deny his allegations, mostly because the whole situation was already too embarrassing for me, and I didn´t want to seem even weaker than I felt, but when I saw Kish´s face, I stopped myself. He had cared for me; he had tried to get my temperature back on normal levels, and had comforted me when I had been restless. By the expression on his face, though, he had probably been worried sick right up until the moment I woke up. I couldn´t remember much about the night, but enough moments came to mind to know his presence had accompanied me when I had been scared and in a pain, and it wasn´t fair to him if I erased the whole thing from my head like it had never existed. No matter how embarrassing it could be.

 _He took care of me…_ It should have been harder to believe, but somehow it wasn´t.

"You are right," I said, "I was very sick, and you helped me, so thank you."

I must have not said something as simple as "thank you" right, because for some reason, Kish suddenly seemed to be hurting. He turned his head away, as if it was too painful to look at me.

"What´s wrong?" I asked, confused, "have I said anything…?"

"Don't thank me when I'm the reason you got hurt in the first place."

"What are you talking about?"

He finally looked at me, and the pain in his eyes was all too real for me.

"In the beach…if it wasn´t because…I brought you here…and I…I´m sorry…Ichigo…"

He wasn´t making any sense, but he didn´t need to, I could understand well enough what he meant to say, and I wasn´t having it.

"Kish," I called his name so he would stop his nonsense, "It´s not your fault. I chose to fight on the beach, it was my decision…"

"But I should have stopped you!" He countered, speaking a little louder to drown my voice, "I knew you weren´t ready for a fight yet, and I still let you…"

"Okay, stop right there, you don´t let me do anything. I´m responsible for myself."

"I know that, but…"

"But nothing! I´m a Mew, and that was my fight too. End of discussion."

Kish looked about as pissed as one would be if he had to deal with an infant child. He probably couldn´t understand why I wasn´t just accepting his guilt, and instead was fighting him to keep all the blame to myself. Not that it mattered much whose fault was it, it certainly couldn´t take my infection away, but I wanted him to lose the sad look in his eyes already. I didn´t want to see him like this again.

"I wasn´t ready for the fight, you are right about that," I agreed, "but I have my own strength, I don´t need to depend on yours, it was my decision."

I thought he would answer some stupid you-are-a-damsel-in-distress-I-must-protect-you sort of thing and keep the discussion going long enough for it to become an actual fight. I was ready for it, but it never came. Instead of answering, Kish looked at me intently. He seemed a little…confused, as if my words didn´t really make sense to him, and I could see why.

I had painted a picture of myself a little too colorful, expressing just how strong and independent I was, when actually I didn´t feel that far from the role of a useless damsel in distress. Kish had saved my life too many times in the past two days not to feel a little too much like a hypocrite saying things like "it was my decision". I knew I wanted to be the kind of girl who can do anything and doesn't need help from anybody else, the kind that fights her own battles and even if she gets hurt she doesn´t cry from a little fever. But I wasn´t her, or at least I wasn´t acting like that girl I wanted to be. I was just trying not to collapse under the weight of this responsibility, and the pain behind Kish´s eyes.

"Listen, I appreciate how much you are worrying for me, but this isn´t your fault," I said again, trying to make him understand, "all you did was take care of me when I was weak, and you are not giving yourself any credit for it. I was…scared last night and you stayed with me, so…thank you."

When I said those last two words, he didn´t flinch or stared at some other useless piece of rock instead of me. He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled the tiniest bit. Without registering my movements, I raised my hand brushed a lock of hair away from his face, and right then it felt like I needed that connection between just as badly as he needed it.

"I almost lost you, " he whispered so low I could barely hear him, "you were right here in pain and I could do nothing, and I almost lost you."

Suddenly, the sight of him so broken made me realize he hadn´t been only worried about me out of guilt. That pain I could see in his eyes, in the way his voice carried weakly across the cave, in the way he turned his cheek towards my hand, showed me a little bit of how much he would have suffered if I had died in his arms, and that knowledge made my heart start thumping away painfully in my chest.

He loves you… A voice whispered in my head. A voice so low I could suppress it easily, but it got louder and louder, and painful to hear.

I told myself Kish had a fiancée he loved very much. I told myself he wasn´t interested in me in a romantic way. I told myself he was only worried he had screwed up by not dragging me away from the fight the day before. I told myself so much…and yet the voice kept whispering within my mind.

_He loves you._

_He loves you._

_He loves you._

I tried moving away from Kish, but he was looking at me as if he was worried I would drop dead at any moment. I had never seen such pain in somebody´s eyes, never been confronted with such raw emotions. It scared me, but apparently not enough to make me want to pull away and leave him alone in his pain. Not enough to take my hand away from his cheek and break our connection.

"I´m okay," I assured him and in a unconscious act, I grabbed his hand and put in on my cheek "see? I´m breathing…I´m okay."

Seconds passed and slowly he curved his hand on my cheek, I suspected in some way to assure himself I was really there. I couldn´t imagine being so worried about somebody else and not being able to do anything to help other than offering comfort and hope the other person would pull through. So I patiently waited until he calmed down, just like he had probably patiently cared for me just a few hours before.

Suddenly, Kish gave me a very weird look, one I had never seen on him before, and the air around the cave became heavier, deeper, meaningful. Before I realized what would happen, Kish had slid his hand to the back of my neck, and pulled me roughly towards him.

His mouth landed fiercely on mine, and I was in such a state of shock I didn´t do anything to stop him. For some reason, somewhere in my head I thought back to our first kiss, all the way in Japan three years ago. That kiss had been surprising (especially because it was my first kiss ever), but it had been nothing more than just a peck on the lips.

This was not it.

His kiss now was far from innocent or childish, it was not respectful, it was not kind. It was raw, hot, demanding…and it overwhelmed me how much he had changed over the years by the way he kissed. His hands were grabbing me by the waist, dragging me close, not letting any air between our bodies…or our mouths. My own body felt small against his own, delicate even, despite his rough handling, and his mouth…oh god, his mouth…was moving just right against my own to make me feel…

 _Stop!_ I yelled inside my head. What are you doing?!

Thunder seemed to cross my mind when I realized in what situation I had gotten myself into, and I raised my hands to shove him away, but I didn´t get the chance to do so.

Because he shoved himself away from me first.

"I´m sorry," he said, looking as wild as I probably felt, his mouth red…because of me, "we can´t do this."

I opened my mouth to say something…probably, I wasn´t sure, because the connection between my tongue and brain had been severed with that kiss. I didn´t get the chance to say anything though, because he stood up, and walked right by me without any sort of explanation, leaving me in the ground of a dusty cave all alone, and without understanding what the hell had happened between us.


	10. Chapter 10

I wasn´t thinking about it.

I definitely was not thinking about it. I had way too many problems swimming around inside my head to start over thinking about stupid and useless things that wouldn´t help my current situation in the slightest.

For starters, I was stranded on an island with very unfriendly inhabitants who apparently were hell bent on kicking me out of their land one way or another, and I was seriously lacking about two years worth of training to be any match for their numbers. I also had a psychotic alien woman on my tail back at home, who was going to come looking for me at some point (who knew when?), and to top it all off I had an infected cut on my shoulder that barely let me move, so If I was going to wrap my head around something, it should be on a way to find a solution to any of those problems, and not waste time relieving meaningful glances or stolen kisses.

Surprisingly hot stolen kisses.

 _Liar_ , some stupid voice was saying inside my head, _you are so thinking about it..._

I shook my head and did my best to clear my mind off any leftover images, but no matter how hard I tried, they still kept coming at me in vicious attacks. When I closed my eyes all I could see were yellow eyes, green hair and a mouth that should never have been that close to mine, and for some reason I had let it go past my defenses. Kish was plaguing my mind, haunting me every time I merely blinked, and leaving me in a perpetual state of rapid heart beating. Why was I behaving like such a child?! It wasn´t like it was my first kiss, and not even my first kiss with him! He had stolen one before already, but this time he had freaked me out for some reason.

_Maybe for the way he held me against him, or how his skin felt like fire under…_

_Stop! Stop! Stop!_

I wanted to forget about it already, bury the memory in the back of my mind until it disappeared on its own. Better yet, I wanted to go back in time and stop the situation from happening altogether, because I felt so unbelievable stupid right now! How could I have been so distracted? How could I have let him get that close to me? How could I have…answered with as much hunger as him?

I felt my cheeks turn red, and I covered my face out of sheer embarrassment, even though nobody was there to see me. Kish had left the cave a while ago, claiming he would go on a food run, something for which I was thankful for because I needed time alone to gather my thoughts before I saw him again. Only, that wasn´t happening any time soon as long as I kept freaking thinking about our last encounter! It was like having a television inside my brain with only one channel and a broken off button on the remote. It was annoying, unavoidable and it forced me to face the situation whether I liked it or not: Kish had kissed me.

Kish had kissed me.

That was all, just a kiss and a short one at that…but then why did it seem he had done so much more?

Four years ago he had kissed me, in a very childish, playful, even innocent way. Back then I had felt nothing but anger and annoyance, and I was pretty sure the experience hadn´t really been world-shattering for him either. Maybe we had both been way too young to feel or make the other feel anything more than just the touch of a pair of lips on each other´s mouths, and it made sense given that we hadn´t had the practice or experience at the time to make it too memorable.

Well, I could see it becoming memorable now.

I didn´t consider myself too know-ledged on kissing, but I had felt his experience directly from his mouth and hands, and it overwhelmed me how mature he had become over the years, like he had taken a freaking course about it or something. Much like when I saw him fight and I was able to distinguish a new resolve with every movement from his body, a confidence he wore like a suit made just for him. The way he had looked at me, touched me, or kissed me, felt just as graceful and fierce and intoxicating as the powerful way he fought. He had touched me…with reverence, with desperation, with…passion, and his mouth on mine had demanded something from me I found myself wanting to give… and it had left me breathless.

Breathless, and stupid and forgetting about myself, because I had reciprocated. And I had no idea why. I wasn´t even sure I wanted to figure out why, I just wanted to forget all about it already.

"Ichigo" Kish´s voice called me from the cave´s entrance.

I jumped in surprise, and told myself to calm down already, but it was easier said than done. After all, my heart was hammering inside my chest and I was pretty sure my cheeks were still a little flushed. I guessed he realized I wasn´t acting entirely like myself, because he didn´t approach me, and he carefully avoided my eyes as he went to put down on the floor all the food he had managed to collect.

"I brought something to eat" he said, though it was obvious, "in case in you are hungry."

"I am" I said, because I couldn´t really think straight with an empty stomach, "thanks."

I went over to him and sat down on the ground, making sure not to touch him by accident. Apparently, neither one of us could think of anything useful to say, because we ate silently for a while, and without looking at each other.

I didn´t know what was on his mind, but all I could think about was how badly I needed to get out of there, and go straight home. I was uncomfortable, not only because I had been stuffed in wet clothes for the last three days, or because I had an open wound pulsating in my shoulder (although those things certainly did not help) my discomfort was mostly due to the fact that I no idea how to act like a Mew right now. After all, I hadn´t been one for the last three years, and I was not only far behind in my training, but also in my survival skills.

I could complain all I wanted if I were a civilian, I could cry and scream and depend on others because I probably wouldn´t know any better, wouldn´t know how to handle the cold, the fear and the pain. But whether I liked it or not, I was a Mew again, and I couldn´t afford to cry and scream and depend on others for my survival, because I did know better. I knew I wouldn´t survive that way. I knew I needed to step up my game and freaking find a way out of here fast before the infection on my body killed me. I knew I needed to be a Mew again…I just wasn´t sure where that heroine inside me was hiding. Was she even still there?

The minutes went by, and we still kept silence, even after we were done eating. At first I had thought he was giving me space, but I was starting to wonder If he wasn´t in need of some alone time as well. I confirmed my theory when I glanced at him, and saw his ears bright red.

 _So I'm not the only one who is uncomfortable_ , I thought, and I felt kind of relived about it, actually.

I couldn´t remember a time I had seen Kish embarrassed before. He had always seemed so confident to me, arrogant even, especially on the times he had claimed he would make me his wife, or tried to steal a kiss from my lips. At the time, I had always brushed him off, thinking it was just his very unfriendly and annoying personality I had to put up with, but right now, seeing him this embarrassed, it made me wonder if that side of him had faded a bit through the years. I had barely heard a snarky comment since his return, or seen a devilish grin on his face, and he had acted kind of…respectfully towards me, even when I had been shirtless! It wasn´t like him at all.

But was it safe to assume he had changed? Could I believe he had no feelings for me whatsoever and only wanted to protect me? Could I brush off that kiss for the sake of our survival? I wasn´t sure about him, or his intentions, and least of all: that stupid kiss.

He had made the first move, he had pulled me towards him in a desperate manner, and then he had pushed me away in anger and regret. I couldn´t wrap my head around the whole situation. Why kiss me like that only to run away a second later? What did he want from me?

_And why am I over thinking this?_

Suddenly, the very idea of continuing going around this subject became unbearable to me. I couldn´t keep piling up my problems without first solving the ones of higher priority, like how to get out of this freaking island, for example! The level of stress my body could take was definitely hitting its limit.

I got up from the ground and started walking around, but everywhere I went all I could see was rock, dirt and too dark spaces. I needed out, I needed air, I needed the city around me and dry clothes without fur over my back. I felt like an animal locked inside a cage, without being able to move and with an itch on my skin I couldn´t quite scratch. I needed out…now.

I turned around and headed straight for the cave´s entrance. I had no idea where I was going other than "outside", and I guessed I would have walked aimlessly towards a dangerous situation, because an arm grabbed me loosely by the waist and stopped me. I instinctively grabbed my pendant, ready for a fight, and it took me a few seconds to realize it was only Kish by my side.

"Are you okay?" He asked the question in a very calm way, as if he were speaking to an animal on the verge of going wild. And maybe I was that animal, because I wasn´t really feeling like myself, "tell me what you need."

_Well that´s an easy answer._

"I need you teleport us out of here."

He sighed and let go off me.

"You know I can´t do that. If I try to teleport us before I´m fully recovered, we may end up…"

"Scattered across the universe, I know," I angrily finished the sentence for him.

Being disintegrated did not sound like a good way to die, and I was all about avoiding that fate anyway we could, but what was the alternative here? Staying in this cave long enough for us to be found and slaughtered? Waiting around until my infection kicked in again? Neither of those options sounded so good to me.

 _It´s all his girlfriend fault_ , I thought, but didn´t share my opinion aloud, because I didn´t want to start another fight about his choice of fiancée and her unbelievably unlucky aim (for us, for her it had been kind of flawless).

"Our teams should be tracking us," he tried to reassure me, but I wasn´t really buying it, "I'm sure it´s only a matter of time before…"

"But we don´t have time," I interrupted him. "I don´t have time."

I wasn´t really planning to use the "I´m injured" card, but I realized I must have been more nervous about my wound than I had originally thought, because I spoke without thinking, and then immediately regretted my decision when I saw Kish´s face drop. I suddenly felt guilty for some reason, maybe because the memory of his relief after finding me awake and breathing that morning was still fresh inside my mind. I kept expecting Kish to be the nonchalant and indifferent enemy he had always been to me, and I wasn´t used to seeing him…sad for me.

I wasn´t looking to make him miserable or anything, I had just wanted to get out of there, and If honesty was the way to go, then I would use it.

"Look, I´m fine now," I said, opening my arms so he could see I was clearly breathing and standing up and overall being alive, "but I don´t know how long that is going to last, I need medicine and I can´t get that here. We need to go."

I didn´t know what exactly could happen to my body If I let this infection run its course, but I sure as hell wasn´t sticking around to see. A bad night with a fever would be the least of my problems if a doctor didn´t see me soon.

His eyes turned sad again, and he reached over with his hand as if to touch my cheek. I moved backwards instantly, and his hand hovered in the air where my face had been. The movement seemed to wake him up from slumber, and the expression on his face hardened a bit, hiding away the pain I had seen there not a second before.

He lowered his hand back down.

"I´m sorry," he said, looking at me straight in the eye, "this is all my fault, and I need to make it better, but I can´t stand the idea of something happening to you because of me."

"Then get us out of here," I pleaded.

I hadn´t meant to sound overdramatic, but my knees gave out and I fell to the ground like a freaking damsel in distress, and that was so not a good look on me. Kish caught me in the last second before I hit the ground, pulled me back up and kept a hand on my waist to hold me just in case I wasn´t steady yet.

Some heroine I was. If I needed help to even stay on my feet, I wasn´t going to last long in a another fight, not by a long shot, but I still tried to smile so he wouldn´t get that worried look on his face again.

"After everything I´ve been through, I´m tough to kill, trust me," I reassured him, "I´m not planning to die in the middle of nowhere, but…let´s not play gambles with my life."

He opened his mouth to answer but never got to say anything, because a loud noise suddenly cut him off. We heard what sounded like a flock of birds screeching somewhere, and since we were currently hiding from a group of people who wanted to kill us, sounds like that tended to get on my nerves. Without sharing my intention with Kish, I ran outside to try and see the commotion, and saw a bunch of birds flying off in the distance, having fled from a series of nearby trees.

_That´s not good._

I tried to see what had caused the birds to flee, but the sun was shining in my eyes, and anyway we were in a position too high up to see anything useful, other than the top of the trees and the grand expansion of some ocean below us. I was about to go a little closer, when suddenly I got pushed to the ground.

I turned my head to yell at Kish, and caught the sight of an arrow flying across the space I had just occupied, and drive right into a tree behind us. I stupidly stared at that arrow, and then squeezed Kish´s hand in a silent thank you gesture, very aware that if it hadn´t been for him, I would probably have a new hole inside my body right about now.

He squeezed my hand right back, and then whispered in my ear:

"Are you ready?"

I nodded and without needing an explanation or a detailed plan from him, we both got to our feet…and immediately started running like hell. Behind us, arrows started flying all around, and I was afraid some of them would hit the target eventually, but I couldn´t worry about that and run at the same time, especially since we didn´t really have an alternative anyway. It was run or be killed, and I was all about not getting killed.

I found myself out of breath very quickly, and I decided I was in need of a power boost. Without stopping, I grabbed my pendant and yelled the words that could give me a fighting chance.

"Mew Mew Metamorphosis!"

My transformation not only relieved some of the pain on my shoulder, and gave me a bit of more energy (although not as much as I had hoped) but also proved useful when the surge of light managed to confuse and blind our enemies momentarily. I knew it wouldn´t last but it had gotten us a few seconds to actually get away and lose them.

Kish and I ran through the vegetation, but our inexperience with the land quickly worked against us when we realized we had no idea where we were going, only that we needed to get away. For all we knew, we could have been heading straight to their camp, where even more of them would be waiting for us to stumble into a trap. We were lost, hurt, exhausted, and how could we ever hope to keep this up?

I could hear what sounded like a small army running behind us, just behind a line of trees and making as much noise as they could, because they wanted to scare us. They wanted us to panic, to make mistakes, so they could catch us, or worse…so we could walk right into a trap? Was that were we were headed? Was there a specific place they wanted us to go? Was there even a safe place on this forgotten place?

No, there wasn´t, that became clear when we reached a sudden cliff, and Kish actually had to pull me backwards because I hadn´t seen it as fast as he had, but I could see it now. Below us, (way down below us) I didn´t see salvation, only unruly waves crashing against what looked like very sharp rocks, and I yelled in frustration, because what was the point in being quiet anymore? They had us right where they wanted us.

I tried to find a new path to follow, but there wasn´t anywhere to go but backwards…or down, and I wasn´t sure which was worse. The people who had chased us where now almost on top of us, but there was no way we could survive a fall from that high. Well, maybe Kish could, but I definitely couldn´t.

"Shit!" I yelled, "There´s nowhere to go!"

Fear went through my back like lightning, and I realized after all the chimera monsters I had faced in my life, I was completely terrified about this fight, more specifically, about the possibility of losing this fight. Those men were just humans, but I feared what they could do to me much more than I had feared alien beings or monsters.

Abruptly, a hand pushed me backwards, and I found myself behind Kish´s back. He was tense, as he had been on the beach the day before, facing the line of trees and fully willing to fight this battle all by himself in order to keep me safe.

"Get down and stay back," he said, more as an order than a suggestion. "As soon as you get the chance, run as fast as you can."

 _And where would I go?_ I asked myself, unable to believe this scenario was repeating itself. Did he actually think I would somehow be okay with his stupid chivalrous act? Not only his strategy was completely idiotic, but also useless. I would never be able to get away fast or long enough for me to be saved, and then I would be alone with a ticking time bomb on my body.

This wouldn´t work at all.

I cautiously sidesteped until I was by his side, and turned his face roughly towards me.

"If I run and hide, what will you do?" I ask, knowing the answer full well, but I wanted him to say it aloud so he could understand his stupid reasoning.

"I will fight," he said, as if there wasn't a single thing wrong with that statement, "I will give you a chance to…"

"Do you honestly think we spent the last three days together so you could go kill yourself playing superhero? No way."

I expected resistance, but I wasn´t expecting his eyes to blaze with rage, and desperation behind it. He was scared, I realized, and not for himself…for me.

"You are not strong enough to fight right now, Ichigo!"

"I know that!" I countered, "I don´t think we should fight, I think you should teleport us out of here now."

He got very quiet then, and closed his eyes for a second. Behind us, I could see the trees moving, and the sounds of footsteps were flying to my ears. I knew he needed to think about the possibilities, measure the pros and cons, but we didn´t have the time!

"Kish!" I yelled, grabbing him by his cheeks, "get us out."

He opened his eyes and when he looked at me, there was way too much pain there. Pain I had never seen. Pain I wanted to erase. He wasn´t sure about this, he would rather fight to death and see me flee than actually put my life on the line with a flawed teleportation. It honestly scared me too, but maybe being disintegrated across the universe was more of an abstract idea in my mind I couldn't quite picture, and on the other hand, being slaughtered to death by angry villagers was something I could very easily see happening.

In my mind there was no doubt, why was there one in his?

"I can´t…I would end up killing us both." He whispered, almost too low from me to hear with all the noise around.

"No, you won´t. I may not know how your power works, but I know you wouldn´t let me die, so try…please."

A set of arrows flew right by my ear, and Kish tried to drag me backwards again, but there wasn´t any room left. The cliff and its impending fall was only a foot away from us.

"Kish," I tried again, "I know you will get us out safely, you always do, so just do it already! I trust you, stupid alien!"

I heard another arrow, and I don´t know why, but I assumed this one would hit the target. We had gotten too lucky by missing each and every one, but I could see some human shapes rounding the trees, and I knew they were close enough to do some real damage now. No more games, no more traps, now it was the end. I closed my eyes and braced for the pain, but I didn´t feel it.

I suddenly had the strangest feeling of slipping away somewhere far and losing myself in the process. Darkness enveloped me like a cloak and I felt my body in too many places at once, and yet nowhere specific at the same time. Time ceased to exist and I forgot where I was or where I wanted to go. There was only a thought inside my head, but it didn´t really make any sense to me:

_"…scattered across the universe…"_


	11. Chapter 11

I drifted in and out of consciousness for a while, and I say "a while" because I wasn´t exactly sure how much time had gone by already, or when the cycle would end, if it ever would. I also didn't know where I was, because nothing seemed familiar anymore, but then again, nothing seemed exactly off to me either. I felt like I wasn´t living anymore, merely existing somewhere in the world, but not in a specific place and yet everywhere at once at the same time.

At times I could feel my body breaking apart into a million little pieces, only to be joined back together again in different ways every time. It was confusing and disorienting, but at least I was aware of…something. At least I knew I was real.

Other times I wasn´t so lucky. In random moments I couldn´t predict, I suddenly lost all awareness because there weren´t enough pieces of me joined together to become whole. Suddenly, I couldn´t feel a thing.

Not my body.

Not my mind.

Not my soul.

Nothing.

It was just a…void, an endless void all around me that wouldn´t let me think or escape, similar to having fallen asleep, but very, very deep inside my own mind. There wasn´t much I could say about these moments, because they were fleeing, and a concept of time I could understand didn´t exist within them. All I knew is that once I resurfaced, it made me scared and restless every time, because I didn´t want to go back under. I didn´t want to disappear, and yet I couldn´t seem to control my own mind from fracturing.

I was lost somewhere, and I had no way to go back home…wherever that may be, so I spent my time in a state of constant confusion, floating endlessly without eyes to actually see, ears to hear or hands to touch…until I felt something I couldn't quite name. An energy that wasn´t exactly me, but it was familiar enough, and most importantly, it was warm and real.

In the moments I could think almost clearly, I tried searching for that source of warmth, following it across the darkness as if it was calling for me without any need for words, because it didn´t have a mouth, or even a body either. I felt its connection to me, like a moth drawn to a flame, and I tried calling for it to come closer, to find me, but I didn´t have a voice, and I didn´t know words to speak. That energy was as lost as I was, dancing away uncaring and disoriented, broken and dispersed in the oblivion, even more so than me. Maybe it was searching for a fellow soul, maybe it didn´t think and it could only exist, but it was definitely scared, that much I could sense.

I could feel its heartbreak and its terror all the way to my being, to my soul, to whatever part of me that was still around to actually feel something, and I wanted to make it better. I wanted to make those feelings disappear, because they mirrored my own. An ethereal connection was forged between us then, and before I knew what I was doing, I found myself in a strange sort of mission: gathering pieces of that source of warmth and bringing them together to the very small and weak core. One by one, I took the pieces and let them be joined together until that warmth grew and widened, and when it enveloped me, I suddenly realized how so very cold I was. I wanted that warmth, I wanted more.

As I searched for all those pieces, parts of me seemed to be coming back to join my own core, and only then I realized, that strange energy was following on my footsteps, trying to help me become complete again. Gradually, I was able to feel the tickling of my own hair against my neck, my own weight suspended in the air, and labored breaths inside my lungs. Little by little, I started to remember myself, every piece that made me who I was, and I concentrated on the image I had of me inside my mind until my body became as real as it had ever been.

I was almost complete, I was almost back as a person, but there weren´t enough pieces of me yet out there to finish the job, and in a desperate attempt at completing the whole puzzle I rushed towards the very center of that ball of energy, that light that was now visible and almost blinding and perfect. Without a thought in my head, I joined it and the warmth enveloped me in an embrace I never wanted to be apart from. A surge of power went through me like lightning, and suddenly my body fused completely with all the pieces that were missing, and wherever I had been during that confusing time, I catapulted right out.

It hurt, but I didn´t have time to suffer, because as soon as my eyes opened, I was met with an expanse of blue and a rushing in my ears. My stomach dropped, and my hair was all around me to see much of anything, not that there was much to see other than the ground rapidly starting to come closer to where I was.

 _No,_ I thought in terror, _I am falling._

And then panic hit.

My heart started pounding so hard in my chest it hurt like nothing I had ever felt before, and all the thoughts in my head were still messy, incoherent and useless. I couldn´t do anything else other than scream mindlessly and move around in search of help, but there was nothing there. There was no one to help me, and I would die a stupid death because my power wasn´t enough to save me from a fall this high.

The only thing that made any sort of sense was the image of a face I could see inside my mind, a pair of golden eyes, green hair and way too pale skin. A face I couldn´t stop seeing, because it kept appearing before me, and it anchored me to something, it called me and with the last effort of my strength, I called it back by its own name.

"Kish!"

I felt my body hit something hard, and I immediately reached forward with arms and legs to hold on to whatever it was that broke my fall. A couple of arms surrounded me, and I felt the distinctive heat of a body next to mine, a body that was able to float in the air, and was holding me as close as we could get. In a normal situation, I would have pushed Kish away, but right now, I held on to him for dear life, and gathered my breath. Nothing could make me let go.

We were still in the air, but at least we weren´t crashing at high speed all the way to the ground. I knew if I turned my neck I would be able to get a glimpse of where we were, but I wasn´t ready for that yet. I wasn´t ready to turn my face away from Kish´s neck and look down. Somehow, I didn´t think I would like the image very much.

"…you have no idea…" I heard Kish murmur against my hair, and maybe it was the wind, or his voice was too low, but I barely heard him, although I didn´t miss the broken tone of his voice.

"What is it?" I asked, my own voice faltering a bit.

Kish raised his head and when he looked at me, he seemed the most exhausted I had ever seen him, which made sense. If the last three days had wrecked me, I couldn´t even begin to imagine what it had been like for Kish after fighting for me, receiving mortal wounds, and functioning with very limited sleep. Ciniclons could be stronger, tougher and more resilient, but they were still mortals, and he had clearly reached his limit.

Kish actually looked like he could faint in the next second or so, which was a problem for both of us, because right now, he was the only thing keeping us from the ground.

 _I need to keep him awake,_ I thought.

"You have no idea how close we were to…losing ourselves" He explained, in almost a pained way. "We almost didn´t come back."

 _Come back from where?_ I wanted to ask, but I didn´t dare say that aloud, I was too scared to actually know the answer to that question. All I knew is that for a very unclear amount of time, I had felt detached from absolutely everything, like I wasn´t even a whole person anymore, just pieces without its core, scattered around the universe and just…lost. My body, my mind, my spirit, everything that that made me who I was, somehow seemed to peel away layer by layer, until all that was left was…nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I could have handled darkness, or fear, or pain, but a void so deep there didn´t seem to be an end to it, had scared me. Still scared me, and I didn´t want a repeat of that show. I didn´t want to imagine it ever again.

"We are back" I said, unhelpfully. If Kish had lived through the same experience, then nothing I could say could make him forget the loneliness still inside himself. I felt it too.

We were both silent for a while. I didn´t know what to say, and I guess he didn´t either, or maybe Kish was just too tired to come up with a full sentence, but strangely I didn´t mind. The silence, the stillness and the warmth from his body to mine was actually kind of nice. After a while of only breathing and holding on to the other, I realized we weren´t even moving anymore, which was fine with me. I kind of needed the world to stop moving for a minute, and just let me breathe.

I gradually managed to slow down the beating of my own heart, and the adrenaline inside my body seemed to dissipate slowly until I was able to make sense of the world around me. I risked a look down and didn´t recognize the landscape, but it wasn´t a surprise considering we were miles from the ground and everything seemed as small as ants to me right now. I looked away, feeling a little squeamish and I suddenly got distracted watching green strands of hair tangling slightly with my red ones in the air. The sight was sort of pretty.

 _Not a bad mix,_ I thought stupidly.

I breathed once, and then I asked:

"So…that´s what happened to us? We were disintegrated?"

"Yes" he answered calmly, looking at me as if he couldn´t believe his eyes.

His hands tightened on my waist, and I did the same thing with my legs around his hips. Somehow, I think we both needed to make sure the other one was still there, that neither of us would just vanish again into oblivion. The position was a little awkward, but since Kish wasn´t spouting any immature comments, or winking lustfully at me, I let myself relax a bit. He seemed so tired; I doubted he was completely aware of the situation anyway.

His lids started to drop a little bit, and I feared he would actually fall asleep mid-flight.

"Why did that happen?" I asked, in an attempt to keep him awake, "I mean, why did your teleportation failed?"

To the sound of my voice he jerked in surprise, and his eyes opened completely, looking at me as if he had forgotten I was even there. He looked down, and then held on to me a little tighter before starting our descent back to the ground.

"Because I wasn´t completely healed yet. In order to teleport safely from point A to point B, my body needs to break down into fragments, and then regroup back together again in the desired destination, along with the person I take with me, in this case: you," he explained simply, "Teleportations errors are rare but not impossible to happen, is sort of against our very nature to risk it."

"And I made you do it," I realized, "I´m sorry."

"Don´t be…this is my fault too, I just…hoped we would make it, I guess."

"We did…just…not the way we were expecting" I said, my voice growing quiet, and after a few seconds of hesitation, I asked what I really wanted to know, "What would have happened if we hadn´t…come back?"

"No idea," he said, blinking rapidly trying to stay awake, "I never even knew we what exactly would happen o us, I mean… I knew in theory, but I didn´t know, you know?"

_Yeah, I guess I do._

We were quiet for a while, and I raked by brain trying to think of safe and easy subjects to approach in order to keep Kish talking, aware and functioning, but I was so tired too, and there was nothing coming to mind.

In the end, he decided for me.

"I feared something bad would happen" he said, with such guilt in his voice it almost caused me pain, "I knew my body was damaged enough that I wouldn´t get us here in one piece, and still I…"

"No, don´t do that" I cut him off, "I made you teleport us, remember? It was my decision."

The expression on his face made me realize he wasn´t actually seeing it that way.

"We didn´t have a choice, anyway" he answered, eyes closing tightly, "It was either this, or being killed by a bunch of savages."

"I prefer this," I said immediately, surprising us both, "What type of weapon is capable of doing this to you, anyway?"

"Yeah, I don´t know the name" he admitted, finally opening his eyes to look at me, "Pai could tell you, probably. All I know is that it acts like a drug in my system and it can disrupt all my abilities for a certain period of time until the drug wears off. It´s very effective, but I don´t recommend being on the receiving end."

I guess he tried to make a joke, but neither of us was in the mood to laugh, and we just let it slide. I

"By the way, how did you do it?" he asked, with a very curious expression in his eyes despite his clear exhaustion.

"Do what?"

"Bring us back"

"I did that?"

He probably thought I was kidding, because he laughed briefly, but when I didn´t join him, he got serious again, and stared at me in surprise. His big golden eyes seemed to be burning into mine.

"Are you telling me you did it by accident?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"I don´t even know what you are talking about."

"I´m talking about the way you saved us. We were…lost, Ichigo, just drifting away like nothing, and out of nowhere you seemed to be all around me. I can´t really explain it, but, somehow you put us back together, and I´m not sure how you did that."

I opened my mouth to answer, but closed it again when I realized I had nothing to say to that. Nothing important anyway. I felt like denying his allegations, because they sounded crazy enough to me, after all, how would I be able to bring us back from whatever alternate reality we had somehow drifted into? I was powerful, but not that much.

 _Then what do you think happened?_ I asked inside my head, _because something sure did._

A moment later, I decided I was too tired to care about any of this right now. I was exhausted, my shoulder wound had opened up again, my hair needed a serious washing, and I had a new alien problem to deal with the moment my feet touched the ground. The experience had been scary as hell, but it was over, and that was all the information I needed to know.

So I just shrugged.

I guess he was expecting a little more out of me, because he blinked stupidly at me for a few seconds before he abruptly started laughing. Despite the fact we clearly didn´t have any reason to laugh, I joined him, because, well why not?

It felt good to laugh for once, and as we floated closer and closer to the ground, I laughed until my belly ached and my eyes watered. I laughed until all the tension in my body went away, and before I knew it, my feet were touching soft grass.

"Are you okay?" Kish asked me, with his arms still around me.

"I am" I said and pulled away from him. I immediately felt cold, but I ignored the feeling, "how about you?"

He seemed a bit shaky to me, and way too pale (even for him) but he was standing on his own two feet, and his flight ability was clearly back, so I guessed whatever drug had been in his system, was probably gone already.

_Took long enough._

"I´m okay," he said, and then offered me his hand, "ready to go?"

"Where?" I asked, staring incomprehensively at his hand.

"Well, wherever you need to go… I guess Tokyo for starters."

I looked around, and only then I realized we were nowhere near Tokyo, at least not the metropolitan area I was used to. Around us, all I could see was an expanse of bright green grass, blue sky, and a couple of hills far enough to probably be unreachable by foot. No cars, no busy streets filled with people, and no signs anywhere. Suddenly, it dawned on me that our trip home was not nearly done.

I must have made some kind of panicked expression, because Kish grabbed me by the shoulder and made me look at him.

"It´s okay, I have my ability under control again," he said in a soothing voice, "we won´t get lost again."

I had half a brain to doubt his words, and was just about to come up with a stupid alternative that would probably get us home in about month, when Kish grinned at me.

"You can´t possibly be scared right now," he said mockingly, "you almost made us jump off a cliff!"

"I am not scared…but even if I was it would be totally justified!"

"Didn´t you trust this stupid alien?"

"I…"

"Was it just the adrenaline…or do you actually, honestly trust me?"

As much as I would have liked to blow it off as the adrenaline, I knew deep down it wasn´t true. Somehow, in the last three days, I, Ichigo Mamoiya, had forged an alliance with Kish…whichever his last name was. Not only I knew he wasn´t out to get me anymore, but I was sure he would put his life on the line if it meant saving my life. After all, he had proved it more than enough times over the last few days.

A very weird sense of calmness enveloped me as I raised my hand and held on to his. Part of me was still afraid of another jump through space, but I managed to stay still.

"If I become garbage floating in the air again, I'm coming back on my own next time and leaving you there to rot, understand?" I half-jokingly threatened.

He only grinned, and in one motion pulled me to him.

"Understood…kitten."

A moment later, he made us disappear. I felt the air shift around me, and my feet stopped feeling the ground beneath for only a fraction of a second. I didn´t have time to be scared, or to hold my breath, not even to close my eyes, it was too fast for me to notice any kind of change, until we no longer were in the meadow, and had appeared right before the Café. I don´t think my body even realized we had changed locations.

Relief flooded through me, and I felt like I could take my very first breath since this whole ordeal had started. Not only Kish was apparently cured from the effects of Saya`s weapon, but had managed to bring me home in one piece.

 _Well, almost in one piece,_ I reminded myself when the pain on my shoulder started asking for a bit of attention. Soon I could get a proper medical care, and that was all my body wanted.

"Dizzy?" Kish asked me.

I shook my head.

"No, just…tired," I answered, "really tired."

I kind of wanted to sleep for a week straight, then wake up for like an hour to eat, and go to sleep again. Both my body and my mind needed rest, but something told me I wouldn´t be getting any for the time being, especially not with a new alien on Earth out to get me personally for something I wasn´t even responsible for.

Saya, whoever she may be, had decided I should be punished for being the object of her current fiancée´s attention a few years ago. Never mind that I had never shared or helped encouraged him to develop those sort of feelings for me, I had intended quite the opposite actually, but I guess she didn´t care about that. She wanted the little interesting cat experiment to fall into her hands, and be able to find out for herself just how much it took for me to break.

It had been a while since an alien was focusing its attention solely on me, but I was rapidly figuring out, Kish hadn´t been the worst enemy to have on my back. After all Kish had been aiming for me to fall in love with him, and half of his attacks hadn´t even been deadly, but Saya, on the other hand, wanted me to be scared, wanted me to suffer, and from what I could tell, she wouldn´t hold back at all.

How had the tables turned so quickly and completely? If someone had told me years ago, Kish would become an ally of mine in a war to come, I would have laughed my ass off…but here I was, still holding on to his hand and trusting this boy I barely knew anything about. Was he thinking the same thing about me? Was he glad about getting me home because it meant he no longer felt responsible for my life? Was our brief truce over?

He took his hand back and pulled back the hair away from his face in a kind of nervous manner. He opened his mouth, and I had a brief moment of panic thinking he would say something to mess our shaky relationship up.

But then he went and said:

"I´m sorry."

"For what?" I asked, confused.

He breathed in deep, as if he was preparing to let go of something painful, and then he spoke:

"For…everything. I didn´t mean for you to be in danger, or in pain or dying. I had forgotten how scared it made me to see you hurt. I don´t like that."

 _No, you never did_ , I thought.

He had always seemed so brave to me, so stupidly brave and arrogant about his own abilities and master plans, and an ironclad will others could never posses. At times, he had even seemed to be a walking death-wish, and I would have never guessed Kish could be scared of anything…until me. For some reason, when it came to me being hurt, he lost all his bravery, and that was a very uncomfortable, and yet very comforting thing to have in mind.

"I guess that`s the reason why I kissed you," he kept talking "and I´m sorry about that too. I´m making this huge effort to prove to you I´m not the same jerk you met before, and then I go do the same shit. It was a spur of the moment sort of the thing, and I know it doesn´t justify my actions…but I wasn´t thinking clearly then. I was just…I was just glad you were breathing."

Something inside my chest fluttered. It might have been my heart, but I wasn´t sure I even wanted to find out; all I knew is that I suddenly realized Kish cared about me. Maybe not as much as when we were kids, maybe not in an obsessed I-need-to-have-you-all-to-myself sort of way, maybe he didn´t love me…but he still cared about me. He still suffered if I was hurt, and worried for my sake in a fight, and would still grieve if I was dead. Somehow, after all these years he still cared, and I could never tell him just how strangely warm that made me inside.

A few years ago I would have ran like hell at that feeling inside my chest, because I knew Kish was the type of guy to use tricks and guilt to force his feelings on me if it meant getting what he wanted. God knows he had tried more than once to shape me into a stupid alien bride, and thankfully I hadn´t let him persuade me into falling for his illusions of love, but I was out of practice of now.

 _Or he is better at it than before._ Either way, it wasn´t as easy to ignore Kish over the last few days, as it had been in the past.

Was I letting him persuade me without me realizing it? Was I allowing him just a small passage inside my mind and my heart? He had stated repeatedly he was engaged to another girl, but was it okay to let my guard down around him, or was I being very stupidly and slowly deceived? I didn´t love him, I was sure of that, but I was beginning to think I could…care about him too, and I didn´t know what that could mean for either of us!

In my mind, there was a scared little voice yelling at my body to escape, to cut all ties with this boy who had terrified me way too many times for me to forgive so easily, and just go back to my life. The voice yelled at me to tune out his voice, because otherwise I would fall for lies that would take me apart. I wanted to run, to go inside the Café and forget about him, and his fiancé and this new war to come. I wanted to put clean clothes and call Masaya and have that date we had re-scheduled three days ago…but that wasn´t my life.

 _And I don´t think this is the Kish I used to know..._ At least, not the obsessed boy I remembered. Whoever this boy…man was, had saved me, apologized for his actions and cared about me. No matter what the voice screamed inside my head, something else told me to reach out and trust.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" He asked me, and his hands shook me a little in their place over my shoulders, "I´m not the same person I used to be. I'm not interested in chasing you around or demanding anything from you, I'm just here to protect you, and then I'll leave again, I promise."

He was clearly waiting for an answer, but I didn´t have one for him. Not yet. My mind was all over the place, going back and forth from scenes in my head to all the times I had interacted with Kish. What was I supposed to say to all of this? Was he waiting for my approval or my permission? Would he just leave if I asked him to? Did I even want to ask that of him?

He was deliberately putting his life on the line for me, someone who he would never see again after all of this was over. It made me wonder what he gained from everything, could I believe his word that this was all just a way for him to repay his debts to me? To let go of his guilt? Or was there something else?

I wanted to ask him, what he truly felt for me, but I wavered and then I shut my mouth, because I didn´t want to know. If he actually had feelings for me, I would ask him to leave, that was sure, but if he left I would be forced to fight alone, and I wasn't sure this was a battle I could win without his knowledge on Saya. So if he did have feelings for me, then I wanted him to hide them, to bury them, and I would ignore them until we won.

Kish seemed a little disappointed with my lack of response, but he didn´t say anything.

"Well, I got you back almost in one piece," he joked, "so mission accomplished, I guess. Be safe, Ichigo."

He raised his hand in a wave, and before he could teleport, without thinking I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tight. He was stiff as a board at first, and didn´t touch me in any way. I think he was a little shock to move.

"I told you I trust you, stupid alien" I said rapidly, and then I let go, "and I mean it."

I ran to the Café without looking back, got inside and closed the door. I didn´t turn back or spied over a window to make sure he had gone because I didn´t feel ready at all to see his reaction. I was already struggling with my red cheeks and pounding heart.

What the hell had just happened? Why was I so damn anxious? I felt stupid, like I had done something very stupid, but at the same time, relieved, like I had let go of something weighting me down. Both emotions were struggling inside my chest and I didn´t know which one would win in the end.

Something had changed, I could tell it in my bones, like there was a snowball rolling down a hill, getting bigger and more dangerous by the second. At some point, inevitably it would hit, but would it crash to pieces on the bottom? I didn´t know.

All I knew is that the danger was only jus beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So, this is the last chapter from "What I couldn´t see", a story I wrote in spanish a few years back, and about two years ago I decided to try translating into english.
> 
> I had a lot of fun with this experiment, but since this is an old fic both in english and spanish, I don´t think it reflects the way I write stories anymore. My writing style has changed a bit over the last few years, and while reading this story I realized there is a lot I would modify. In the end I decided not to, partly because of lack of time, but mostly because I kind of like the way it turned out as a whole.
> 
> I know the ending is kind of open, and this is because there is a sequel dealing with the aftermath of Kish´s return and the new war approaching, but unfortunately, this sequel is only in spanish for now. Even though I would love to eventually translate it into english as well, I´m not sure when that will happen because the new story is much longer in amount of both words and chapters. It would take me a long time, and I want to put my energy in other stories for now. 
> 
> I dont completely discard the idea of translating it at some point, but its not going to be soon, so for now, if you are interested in reading the sequel in spanish, it will be called "Sentimientos Encontrados" and I will upload it here soon.
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting. Im really glad you liked my story and you made me very happy to read your reviews. Hopefully you liked this chapter as well! See you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, I´m really happy you decided to give my fic a try, hope you like it! I just have a couple of things to explain.
> 
> 1\. This is my attempt to re-write a story I wrote a few years ago in spanish. My aim is to practice writing in english, which is something I love to do but Im not always confident in my abilities, so if I have grammar mistakes or anything you believe I should correct, please let me know in the comments or PMs, it helps me to improve and grow!
> 
> 2\. The last time I watched Tokyo Mew Mew was a very long time ago. Since then I tried to research a bit as to not accidentally add wrong information in the fic, but there are some things I couldn´t find so I made them up a little: like the amount of time the Mews fight against the ciniclons during the anime. I couldn´t find that, so I just assumed it was something like a year, which is what I decided to use in this story. Also, about the Blue Knight, I don´t remember what happened in the anime, but in my story he disappeared during the last fight along with Deep Blue.
> 
> 3\. So apparently the Tokyo Mew Mew I watched as a kid is not the same one that aired in Japan or even in the US, and the ages of the characters in the three versions are different for some reason. To avoid confusion about the ages of the girls, I decided to add a small note explaining it here:
> 
> \- Ichigo and Mint are 13 years old when they first join the Mews, and the events of this fic happens four years later, so now both are 17 years old.
> 
> \- Pudding was 11 and now she is 15.
> 
> \- Lettuce was 14 and now she is 18.
> 
> \- Zakuro was 15 and now she is 19.
> 
> Sorry for the long post unrelated to the story, last time this happens, I promise! Hope you like the story, and if you can leave a comment Ill appreciate it so much! See ya!


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